Your mom and Serena share their home-to-Heaven anniversaries 🙂
As I cared for Jan, I was reminded often of what you have shared here. Every time I left her house, I gave her a kiss and told her I loved her because I truly didn't know if I would see her again. I don't always do that with the loved ones in my home because I'm not thinking they or I might die, but any of us could. Those of us helping to care for her often ended our conversations with "love you" yet how many times have I not said that to my immediate family or worse, ended conversations with them in anger or frustration?
Another thing I was reminded of while caring for Jan is how the unimportant stuff of life faded to the background and the important things got attention. My mind was so full of caring for Jan and for my own family, I didn't have time or energy to waste on unimportant things going on in the world, my inbox full of emails, unnecessary shopping trips.
Lastly, I can't leave without encouraging all of you to look around your homes for areas that are cluttered or messy or full of piles. As caregivers and family members spent time in Jan's home, it was overwhelming at times because we didn't have room to move around or room to move furniture so that her medical equipment (hospital bed, wheelchair, potty chair, oxygen tanks, etc.) could be accomodated. Her husband's shop is packed to the roof, his words, not mine, so we couldn't even put extra furniture in there. As we tried to go down the narrow hallway moving things, there were so many things hanging on both walls, we bumped them and knocked some to the floor. In the kitchen, the counters were covered with knick-knacks and unnecessary stuff so there was little space for all of her meds and the medicine notebook. We couldn't stash stuff in closets to make space in the rooms because the closets were already full, so people just piled clothes and bedding wherever they could. Even after Jan was told she had three months to live and was still feeling strong and healthy, she didn't change anything in her home. She had no idea that in the space of one month, she would go from being able to do things to being in Heaven.
Maybe none of us will have caregivers or hospital equipment in our homes, but we will all die one day and will leave things behind for our families. I think we should decorate our homes to reflect us, and should have things around us that we use and enjoy, but not to the extent that we make it impossible for others to help us or care for us. After hurting my foot a couple of years ago and having to be on crutches, I was determined to make it easier for Mark and the kids to do "my" work if I couldn't.
If others have to care for me, I want them to be able to find what they need when they open a cabinet or drawer. Those considerations are in the back of my mind when I'm going through things and deciding what to keep, what to eliminate. There is still plenty of "me" in my house...it is not cold or sterile...but my family isn't suffocated or overwhelmed by my possessions either.
When my dad died, he left behind a small amount of stuff, maybe enough to fill a small closet. Everything else in his 4-bedroom, 2200 square feet house was my mom's. Sure, he used dishes and sat on the couch and slept in a bed, but beyond the basics, none of it was his.
Redeem the time in the areas of your home and your possessions. Spend time with those you love or helping others rather than dusting and moving junk around! Wouldn't you like to do something enjoyable rather than digging through piles to find what you need or having to re-pack the closet after an avalance of junk fell on you? Think about how many hours you lose to "stuff" that you could devote to people or to your relationship with the Lord.
Okay, I'll get off my soapbox, and you can quit throwing things at me 🙂 I love you girls! Lisa
I write an email like this every year. It is important to me that I share one of the lessons I learned on this day, eight years ago. We are never promised a tomorrow with those we love. We are not even promised the next minute. I got a phone call on that morning telling me that my sweet Mom had died in her sleep. It was the way to go for her. There were no signs of a struggle. She just went to sleep that night and woke up in heaven.
I am so grateful that she and I were friends. I had talked to her for a long time the day before on the phone. We always told each other that we loved each other. I dont have any regrets. There are MANY relationships that I know of right now between people that are not very good. If something happens there will be regrets and at that point, it is too late to fix them.
Tell those around you how you feel about them and that you love them. Have you been putting off calling someone because things are not quite right between you? Dont wait
pick up the phone.
Losing my Mom in this way has made me much more aware of relationships in my life. I dont want there to be hard feelings between me and anyone in my life if they should die or if I should go first. Even if I feel I have done nothing wrong, I try make things right. The Bible even tells us if someone has something against you, that you are to leave your gift at the alter and go make things right. THEN you can come and give your gifts. Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges.
Redeem the time!! Is there someone you need to call or write? Do it now. Dont wait. There may not be another chance.
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