So deeply planted are the roots of human corruption, that even after we are born again, renewed, “washed, sanctified, justified,” and made living members of Christ, these roots remain alive in the bottom of our hearts, and, like the leprosy in the walls of the house, we never get rid of them until the earthly house of this tabernacle is dissolved. Sin, no doubt, in the believer’s heart, has no longer dominion. It is checked, controlled, mortified, and crucified by the expulsive power of the new principle of grace. The life of a believer is a life of victory, and not of failure. But the very struggles which go on within his bosom, the fight that he finds it needful to fight daily, the watchful jealousy which he is obliged to exercise over his inner man, the contest between the flesh and the spirit, the inward “groanings” which no one knows but he who has experienced them - all, all testify to the same great truth, all show the enormous power and vitality of sin. Mighty indeed must that foe be who even when crucified is still alive!
J.C. Ryle

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Re: just wondering

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#1 · April 15, 2002, 10:30 pm

Posted by: tom.peck <tom.peck@...>

Brother,
First, you would need to see where each person is in terms of their walk with Christ, i.e. how mature each is or even if they both are saved, and work from that point.
Second, instead of dealing with specific details (he did this, she did that), use scripture to bring the issues into each persons pride, unforgiveness, etc.  To  do this you could assign each person to review and write down their thoughts about what the Word says about each persons role in the marriage, i.e. what husbands are to do, what wives are to do.
Third, have them look at what exactly they promised in their wedding vows.  Who were these vows made to (each other, God?) were they conditional/unconditional?  Also you could bring in 1 Corinthians 13 which describes love as an action and not a feeling and have them review how each has been unloving to each other.
After this, you can begin to help them work on specific problems, etc., but it is better to start with the "big" picture. Cure the "illness" (sin) rather than put a bandaid on the symptom.
I will be in prayer for this couple.
God Bless,
Tom 
----- Original Message -----
From: <a href="mailto:bch3333@yahoo.com" title=bch3333@yahoo.com>Bryan Hicks
To: <a href="mailto:pastormail@welovegod.org" title=pastormail@welovegod.org>pastormail@welovegod.org
Sent: Monday, April 15, 2002 12:45 PM
Subject: [PastorMail] just wondering

I have had a inquiry from a individual who has started visiting my church. This person and their spouse are having a rough time in their marriage. This individual has asked about Lust and Self Satisfaction due the desires and wants of the body. They have been having long periods where they didn't even speak to each other and haven't enjoyed a physical relationship in a while. Just wondering if anyone had dealt with this enough to have some Biblical and applicable advise of their own that I might add. Thanks, Pastor Bryan

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