Prayer is an acknowledgment that our need of God’s help is not partial but total.
Alistair Begg

Forums

Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

Secrets to Happiness

Avatar
Forum Archives
1,544 Posts
#1 · August 7, 2003, 8:17 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

<>< Secrets To Happiness  ><>

1.Return everything you borrow.
2.Stop blaming other people.
3.Live within your means and within your seams.
4.Be humble.
5.Listen more; talk less.
6.Every day, do something nice and try not to get caught.
7.Strive for excellence, not perfection.
8.Be on time.
9.Don't criticize anyone for 24 hours.
10.Be kind to other people.
11.Be even kinder to unkind people. Take time to be alone.
12.Admit it when you make a mistake.
13.Understand and accept that life isn't always fair.
14.Let someone cut ahead of you in line.
15.Don't argue.
16.Know when to say something.
17.Know when to keep your mouth shut.
18.Don't make excuses.
19.Don't sweat the small stuff.
 
<><  <><  <><  <><  <><  <><  <><  <><  <><  <><
 
<>< Installing Love ><>
 
Customer: I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
 
CS REP: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?
 
Customer:Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
 
CS REP: What programs are running?
 
Customer: Let me see -- I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWSELFESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
 
CS REP: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWSELFESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHSELFESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.EXE. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
 
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
 
CS REP:  My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.EXE have been completely erased.
 
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
 
CS REP:  Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
 
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
 
CS REP:  Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the upgrades.
 
Customer: Oops ... I have an error message already. What should I do?
 
CS REP:  What does the message say?
 
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
 
CS REP: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but In non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.
 
Customer: So what should I do?
 
CS REP:  Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
 
Customer:Yes, I have it.
 
CS REP:  Excellent, you are getting good at this.
 
Customer: Thank you.
 
CS REP: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and Begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
 
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!
 
CS REP:  Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go ...
 
Customer: Yes?
 
CS REP:  LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.
 
Customer: I will. Thank you for all your help.

 
><>  ><>  ><>  ><>  ><>  ><>  ><>  ><>  ><>  ><>
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 

Necessary Legal Information

I do not mail idea-central  unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.

 

Click for thumbs down.0Click for thumbs up.0