Shoulder To Shoulder #1325 -- 1-16-23 ---- "Leaving A Legacy"
SHOULDER TO SHOULDER is a weekly letter of encouragement Bob has written since 1997, covering many topics selected to
motivate people to be strong students of the Word and courageous witnesses of Jesus Christ. It is a personal letter of
encouragement to you, written solely to help "lift up hands that hang down".
"The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything." -- Albert Einstein
“There is a common, worldly kind of Christianity in this day, which many have, and think they have -- a cheap Christianity which offends nobody,
and requires no sacrifice, which costs nothing, -- and is worth nothing.” – J. C. Ryle
Shoulder To Shoulder #
1325 -- 1-16-23Title: "Leaving A Legacy"
My Dear Friend and Fellow Kingdom Seeker:
Once again, I failed to get this week's letter off to you in a timely manner; so here we are almost at the end of the week and it still sits in my Drafts folder. So, here we go.
Last January 16th would have been my father's 108th birthday. Sometimes that date slips past me in the wake of the business of the holiday season just concluded, but as I've aged myself, I seem to remember that date more clearly. As an only child, I have no siblings to remind me of such dates, and sometimes Jo Ann forgets as well. It's easy to remember my Mother's birthday -- especially since it's the same day as her father's, and she always remembers birthdays and anniversaries. Often I think of Solomon's query: -- "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels." (Prov 31:10).
Thinking of how Dad influenced my life, it seems that such an impact grows stronger as I get older. Fortunately, I have one of his preaching Bibles, the Bible he was given when he came to Christ at age 14, and boxes of his sermon notes on 4"X6" file cards. Then, of course, there are all the pictures stored away in plastic boxes, along with old cassette audio tapes of sermons he preached during revival meetings in a couple of the churches I pastored.
One of my most cherished possessions, though, is an old VHS video of Dad sitting at the piano playing one song after another. The video was taken when they came to see us in southwestern Missouri on his 84th or 85th birthday. I realized we had no video of his playing, although we did have two LP albums and a number of cassettes from his radio programs he did daily for five years during his pastorate in Effingham, IL. Earlier this week I pulled a short clip of that video and watched it. It brought back so many memories, and it reminded me of the significance of leaving a legacy.
It also made me question what kind of legacy I would leave for my four daughters, twelve grandchildren, and 18 or so great grandchildren. It was clearly a cause for a pause.
So, today, I'd like to ramble a bit about leaving a legacy, and will do so right after you consider . . .
THIS 'N' THAT:
+ Did Prayer Affect This? -- As far as I know, no news media outlet reported on this early morning event in the U.S. House Chamber -- either they didn't know about it, or they discounted it. "We lifted the speaker’s race up to the Lord, and immediately after the prayer of seven members, 14 members changed their vote. And, by the end of the day, it had concluded, and we had a speaker." -- Greg Steube (U.S. House Representative from Florida)
You can decide whether or not you believe prayer had anything to do with the outcome of the 15 attempts of voting for Speaker of the House. Before you decide, read this: . . . . https://washingtonstand.com/news/a-house-united-how-prayer-played-a-central-role-in-electing-a-speaker-
+ From A Friend in Ukraine: While we continue sending funds to strategic ministries and individuals in Ukraine through our own ministry (over $35,000 so far), I also want to promote this one. Paul Logan was the very first non-IMB missionary to welcome us to Ukraine when we moved there in 2003. Since our return we have continued our friendship, and know of very few ministries that is more effective than what he and Nastia lead through "Arise Ukraine". One of the longest-serving ministries in Ukraine, having begun soon after the country declared independence, it is also one of the most comprehensive ministries in the country. This is one of the ministries we currently support with their strategic ministry to war refugees and locals who cannot leave war-torn areas. Their website shares many more stories and reports. Click on the black screen below to view Paul's most recent video report. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Tsl6jVg8EUe39qM6Q6cvjJ5_oTqwpZDY/view?usp=share_link.
+ Religious Make-Up of Congress: It seems that Congress in general is more "religious" than the nation as a whole -- at least in terms of affiliation. Here's an interesting analysis of the role religion plays in both. Interesting charts break things down in several ways. Let's pray that somehow they'll make decisions more morally and ethically based than electability and expediency based. https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2023/01/03/faith-on-the-hill-2023/
+ Great news for Christian educational institutions -- A recent court decision declares that a Christian college can legally maintain moral, cultural and social challenges against it when their policies are based on their strong traditional religious beliefs. Go to https://washingtonstand.com/commentary/religious-freedom-for-christian-colleges-a-victory-in-federal-court-
QUOTES FOR THE WEEK:
> "The worst mistake a leader can make is to mentor no one, choose no successor and leave no legacy." -- Myles Munroe
> "Praise the Lord!How blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed." -- The Singer (Ps 112:1-2)
> "I worship because I'm fighting for my kids to have a spiritual legacy... and the best legacy I can leave is that they will catch me worshiping." -- John Gray (Hillsong)
> "A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and gold." -- David (Ps 22:1)
> "A lasting legacy, one that continues for eternity, is set in stone. Written on our hearts, and the hearts of our loved ones, belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of the Living God and Savior of the world is the legacy that lasts." -- Jennifer Waddle, More Than A Good Name: A Legacy That Lasts (Crosswalk.Com)
> "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." -- Solomon (Ps 127:3)
> "Making a Memory, leaving a legacy isn't a choice. The kind of legacy you leave, though, is up to you." -- Anonymous, Leaving A Legacy: Making a Memory (Focus On The Family)
> " I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children,that they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments, . . ." -- Asaph (Ps 78:2-7)
> "The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day. . . . The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith." -- Billy Graham
FROM A UKRAINIAN "TIMOTHY":
Jo Ann and I continue contact with many of our friends in and/or from Ukraine. They are scattered to numerous places in the world, but we continue praying and helping financially as God provides through our ministry. We are blessed to have one of our "sons" in western Ukraine who has a business office in the U.S. help us send funds to a number of ministries and individuals inside Ukraine. We continue focusing on them because many of them otherwise "fall through the cracks" of the larger organizations trying to help.
"O" was one of my students when Jo Ann and I taught at St. James Bible College in Kyiv in 2001. Our first time to teach there was in 1995 just a little more than three years after Ukraine had declared independence from the dissolved USSR. He has since served faithfully as an encourager and "pastor" in the same general area of Ukraine about 50 miles south of Kyiv. While many Ukrainians left, "O", his wife, "J", and their children remained to help minister to refugees fleeing eastern Ukraine.
We have been sending funds to them periodically as the Lord provided our ministry (Life Unlimited Ministries) the resources, along with a number of other ministries, pastors, and friends. So far, we've been able to send somewhere around $35,000 since the war began, and will be send more that came in the past week. "O" and his family are like many we know in Ukraine who are not only cut off physically, infra-structurally, and economically from much of the world, but also spiritually and emotionally. He and his family are not only physically exhausted and economically depleted, but also emotionally and spiritually.
The following message that I received Friday morning gives you a tiny glimpse of what people are facing in Ukraine. I share this in the hope that it will remind you to pray for your brothers and sisters in Ukraine -- and give, if you can. We in the western countries must not "grow weary in doing good", and we must not put the suffering in Ukraine out of our minds. I pray that your passion for interceding in Ukraine's behalf will be increased as you read.
Hi Bob.
I'm sorry I haven't written to you for a long time. Our family has been sick for some time. It was not a very pleasant time. But the Lord took care of us. How are you doing? How is JoAnn?
Your money was spent on food for people who needed it. Medicines were also bought. We had an epidemic of influenza and covid. Also, our family also needed medicine. I helped the displaced people with the repair of the washing machine. At Christmas, we bought food for people in need. Thank you and everyone who donated to this cause.
I am now praying that the Lord will show me where to go next. I still get a salary in January and that's it. Immigrants from Kharkiv live in my house for free. But they will need to look for housing in March. But I have a feeling that we will not return to our house. I don't know why I have such thoughts. We spoke with B---- before the new year. He offered me and my family to come to Cluj in Romania so that my family and I could rest. I understand that this is a great blessing for my family.
When people look at us from the other side, they see that we are very tired. The war left its mark on us. But we do not see it and do not understand it. We continue to live as before. But everything has already changed around us. Yesterday I was in Kagarlyk. I was meeting with a friend of mine who works in the migration service. I have a good relationship with her. This woman has always been an example of a strong person for me. But yesterday she was different. She said she was broken. That does not know what to do next.
I could see the disappointment in life in her eyes. And I realized that I do not understand what thoughts and feelings I have inside me. I realized that I hid my thirsty emotions somewhere deep inside me. And I don't want to think about it. My mom went to be with the Lord in December. And when my wife and I were talking about it after my mother had been gone for a month, she asked me what I thought about it. To which I told her that I wasn't thinking about it. These thoughts are somewhere very deep in me. It was strange for [my wife] J-----, because she misses and thinks about my mother. I realized that I hide all my experiences somewhere deep inside me.
I also don't know what to make of the meetings that are currently being held at B----'s house. I see that people want to come to study and communicate with us. But we will have to go. During this entire period of meetings, people began to open up more and share their experiences. New people want to come to us. If we go to Romania for a month in February and then immediately have to return to Kagarlyk, who will take care of them? There are a couple of families here that need support and growth in Christ. And it hurts me a little that I won't be there for them when they need help. Here are my thirsty feelings...
The desire of my heart is to love people, to be close to them, to see how their lives change into the image of the Son of God. I think my Dad gives me these feelings. How I need His love. I expect that the Lord will reveal himself even more to me in Romania. Something amazing awaits me soon. So I ask you to support me in prayer. That the Lord would give me an understanding of where to move next. That the Holy Spirit would prepare me and my family for the service that He gives me. I want to be a good pastor who listens to the voice of a loving Father.
My van is still being repaired. But I think it will be finished in a week. Maybe I can use the van to go to Romania. Pray that the Lord will take care of the trip. We also have electricity cut off for a long time. It happens that electricity is turned on for 1.5-2 hours, and then turned off for 4-8 hours. Already turned off.
May the Lord richly bless you and JoAnn. I love you very much. Your brother and your son, "O".
Today at 7:58 AM
In reply, I sent "O" the following message:
It is so good to hear from you, "O". We have been thinking of you and J----- almost every day and wondering how you are doing. I think it will be good for you and your family to spend time with B---- in Romania. Even Jesus took some time off to be with His Father. If you notice in the Gospels, many times He went aside from the people right after He had ministered to them.
One of the most important things my earthly father told me early in my ministry over 60 years ago is that there will always be needs around me, but I cannot meet them all. Just because there is a need does not mean that I am the one who has to provide for the need. If God can take care of me, then He can also take care of them through other people or other ways.
To be honest, no matter how much we in western countries care, we will never completely understand what you people in Ukraine go through every day. And nothing is more stressful and draining of energy than going through the dangers and the unknowns of war.
Another lesson Jo Ann and I learned when our daughters were all quite young is that when God closes doors of ministry, He opens others. And sometimes those new doors are just for us so we can take some time just for ourselves. When we are personally tired, exhausted, or broken, we cannot effectively serve others. So, my suggestion is that as soon as your van is repaired, you take your family to Romania and let the people there minister to you and refresh you. God will take care of those you have to leave in Ukraine.
We have had some more funds come in to send to Ukraine, so will send some to you. By the time we go through all the steps in the process, it will probably be early to middle of next week since our banks are not open on Saturdays and Sundays here. Perhaps we can talk again next week on video if you are able to get a connection. I will let you know as soon as the money is available. We love you and continue praying that this horrible war will end soon. In the meantime, just as Paul reminded us, God gives us the grace and strength to face whatever burdens and difficulties may come our way.
Please give J------ and your children our love and encouragement. You are always in our hearts.
HIS LEGACY -- ONLY JESUS:
Today as I was finishing this letter, I ran across a quote that expresses the passion I've had for the past thirty years:
"The worst mistake a leader can make is to mentor no one, choose no successor and leave no legacy." -- Myles Munroe
How absolutely true that is. It reminded me that this past Monday I wrote the following on my Facebook page in honor of my father, who was born 108 years ago that day.
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Today (this past Monday) my father would [have] celebrate[d] his 108th birthday. Born Jan 16, 1915, the youngest of six "farm kids", Dad learned to play the piano at age eight by practicing on a reed pump organ, taking lessons for only two years. He accepted Christ at 14 in Gary, IN, began playing piano in church at age 14, learned to play guitar, accordion and organ soon thereafter, formed a Gospel music group right out of high school, and began preaching before age 20.
He married my Mother on March 19, 1936 who gave birth to me on March 19, 1938 in an Illinois farmhouse. He pastored twelve churches and served as interim pastor in three others in four states over his 67 years of pastoral ministry. When I, as a six-year-old, showed a desire to accept Christ, he led me to receive Him that third Sunday morning of July, 1944 in the church parsonage just before Sunday School started. The product of Bible-loving-and-preaching pastors himself, Dad passed that same love on to me.
An accomplished singer and pianist as well as an exceptional preacher, he often played at statewide conferences before thousands, and made multiple trips to Trinidad and Jamaica on evangelistic crusades. When we founded Life Unlimited Ministries in the Fall of 1980, he joined me often in revival meetings, Bible conferences, and concerts where we "tag-teamed" the preaching, and sang together.
When he played the piano, he wowed the people; when he preached, he touched their hearts. His own piano artistry was a combination of Old Fashioned Revival Hour's (Charles Fuller) Rudy Atwood with arpeggio's and octave "runs", and B. B. McKinney's (songwriter) six to eight note chords. Dad said that since he had two thumbs and eight fingers, he'd try to use them all. His preaching was exclusively Bible-centered, intense, and practical.
As the result of a ministry crisis, he focused his devotional time on reading the Bible through. By the time he died, he read the Bible through over 150 times, the New Testament another 50+ times and the four Gospels an additional 50+ times during those 40 years since that ministry crisis. He never had to wonder "what" to preach, but only "Which" to preach.
When Jo Ann and I were preparing to go to Ukraine as missionaries, he already knew he had cancer. He insisted that we go anyhow because when it was his time to die, distance would be no factor -- he'd go regardless of where we were. He assured us that, if my Mother were still leaving (she had died in 2000), she would say the same thing.
Soon after Jo Ann and I went to Ukraine, we were encouraged to come home because Dad was rapidly failing. I spent most nights in his Bolivar, MO, duplex apartment sleeping on the living room floor so I could tend to him if he needed me. That was until he finally told me it was time for him to go to a nursing home. Moving him in, he went home twelve days later on Fathers' Day, 2003, to be with the Lord about Whom he had preached, played, and sung for more than 70 years. He was 88 years old.
Even during his years of deteriorating health, he always read his Bible and shared the story of Jesus with everyone he saw.
Whenever hospital personnel or a home care worker came into his presence, they almost always found him reading his Bible. His first comment would be, "Look what I just found today as I was reading the Bible! I had never seen that before!"
Even when sitting in the waiting room for his radiation treatment, he would share the Gospel with others also waiting. On one occasion as he shared with an old gentleman and his nephew who had taken him for treatment, Dad told them the reason he personally had cancer was so he'd have a chance to tell them about God's love expressed through Jesus. Both of them put their faith in Christ there in the waiting room.
When Dad died, he was reading the Bible entirely through every sixteen days; hard to believe, but true. He continued reading until he was too weak to hold his Bible up.
When Dad died, he left me three invaluable gifts.
1. A good name.
2. A godly legacy.
3. A deep belief in and love for God's Word.
Happy birthday, Dad! I miss you more each year.
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So, this got me thinking about today's letter and what I should write about.
How about a "Legacy"?
Do you have a legacy that was passed on to you? Do you appreciate it or despise it? Are you trying to leave a legacy for your descendants? What kind?
Today, only six or seven weeks from turning 85 myself, I think often about what kind of legacy I might leave -- not only to my now fully-grown adult children, but also to my adult grandchildren and great grandchildren. Looking back over the lives of both my parents, the legacy left to me can be summed up in two simple words -- "Only Jesus".
THE LEGACY OF JONATHAN AND SARAH EDWARDS:
You and I are familiar with the name of Jonathan Edwards, an Anglican pastor God used to strike the spark that led to the First Great Awakening just prior to the formation of the United States as a nation. Few people take note that the Great Awakening had a major place in motivating our founders to declare independence from Great Britain and become a free society and a democratic constitutional republic. Living exemplary lives through times of both spiritual richness and dark dryness, they lived consistently as husband and wife, as pastor and first lady, and as educator and mentor to many. It was a legacy far beyond anything they could have imagined possible during the early 1700s in colonial America.
Beginning as the pastoral couple of a small congregation, Edwards wrote many sermons, prayers, and books. All of his sermons were preached in a relative monotone from manuscripts. Sarah was a trusted counselor and advisor to Jonathan, and they spent much time discussing both things of the Bible and of the culture with each other. As their eleven children grew toward adulthood, they were actively included in such discussions. Little did they know just how far-reaching their legacy would reach as they and their children lived out their faith in ways that impacted others.
In 1900, A. E. Winship decided to trace some 1,400 descendants of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards. Born in West Bridgewater, MA, Winship attended Andover Theological Seminary, and was a pastor from 1876 to 1883. By 1886 he had entered the field of public education and eventually became editor of the Journal of Education, Boston, later to be one of the most influential educational magazines in the United States. Winship was a member of the Massachusetts State Board of Education from 1903 to 1909.
Included in the list that he was able to assemble on Jonathan, there were . . .
100 lawyers
The dean of a law school
80 holders of public office
66 physicians
The dean of a medical school
65 professors of colleges and universities
30 judges
13 college presidents
3 mayors of large cities
3 governors of states
3 United States senators
1 controller of the United States Treasury
1 Vice President of the United States
One never knows what kind of impact he or she may have on the lives of those who come under their influence -- not only family members, but others as well. What will others find in mine? I have no idea.
What will they find in yours? You have no control over that -- but you DO have the time and capacity to influence it.
YOU ARE LEAVING A LEGACY: -- BUT WHAT KIND?
Recently I had an experience eating out at a local restaurant. It's fascinating what you can learn from such moments. Jo Ann and I eat out two or three times a week as we are out and about with a busy ministry schedule. I sometimes observe other people in the restaurant. This was one of those times. I watched a father and a son eating together. What I observed was a bit troubling.
1. Slouched postures, elbows on the table.
2. Hats remained on the heads.
3. Sloppy eating, propped by elbows on the table as if they could hardly feed themselves.
4. Constant cell phone use.
5. Almost no verbal conversation or eye contact.
Frankly, it was irritating: "Like father, like son!" was an immediate conclusion. The son had clearly learned from the father. Now, call me old fashioned and antiquated if you wish, but I still remember the table manners my parents taught me -- everything these guys didn't do. Sit up straight, elbows off the table, take your hat off, talk to each other, and don't doodle around with other things (such as cell phones). I still try to maintain those same disciplines that are part of the legacy my parents left me -- and hopefully Jo Ann and I were able to pass them on to our four daughters (although at times I'm not sure how well we succeeded 😉
). One thing that really bothers me is how easy it is for me to pick up my own cell phone when Jo Ann and I are out eating, and absorb myself in texts or news reports that do nothing but block the most important thing at the moment -- serious attentive eye contact and listening ears with the woman I love. I see the disgust, boredom, and lonely disappointment on the faces of other women in the restaurant as their husbands preoccupy themselves with cellphone screens. I keep wondering, "what is so important that you can't wait?" Or, "What? Is your arm broken or something that you can't take your hat off?" Of course, I can't overlook those wives who jabber endlessly on their phones with their friends while the husband sits silently dabbling through the food on his plate with his fork.On occasion I find myself asking, "I wonder if their children do the same thing?" Chances are they do. That's the making of a legacy.
And -- That is some legacy to leave!
When Jo Ann and I go out to eat, I do my best to leave my cell phone alone; if the call is important, they'll call back. If the text is important, I can read it later. I try to listen attentively. After all, eating a meal together is one of the best opportunities for good conversation. Conversation used to be the number one activity at family meals; today, most families don't even eat together, or if they do, each person leaves as soon as they've gulped down their plate of food.
WHAT LEGACY DO I HOPE TO LEAVE:
Frankly, I think I've had to spend the past several years undoing some of the things that I did in our earlier years of married life. Jo Ann will celebrate our 64th wedding anniversary in just one week. I pray that the last thirty have somehow compensated for the first thirty-four. Whether it has or not will have to be decided by others. In the meantime, here's part of the legacy I hope to leave along the pathway I have traveled:
1. An unquestioned love for and obedience to God demonstrated in my life.
2. An indisputable love and passion for the Bible as God's absolute truth.
3. A distinct, unflinching and convincing love for Jo Ann that nobody ever doubts.
4. The demonstration of caring and supporting love for our daughters, their husbands, and our grandchildren.
5. A compassionate and sensitive but unapologetic preaching and teaching of God's Word.
6. A life that has grown wise as it has grown longer
7. The continuing good name and legacy of the Tolliver history.
I remember Peter Lord stating many years ago what he hoped to have said about him when he died. He indicated -- a man who loved his wife deeply, a father who raised his children wisely, and a pastor who served his Savior faithfully. It is yet to be seen how well I will have done in my efforts to leave the seven-point legacy whenever God calls me home.
FINALLY:
I don't plan to leave a legacy any time soon; I still need to work more on it. And there is still much to do. But, in the meantime, I am forever grateful for the legacy my parents left me -- a good name, an amazing example, a deep love for the Lord, a stunning model of marriage, a consistent longevity of living faith, and an unapologetic belief in and proclamation of God's untarnished -- and unvarnished -- Word.
So, like Paul, . . .
"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
"Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
"Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.
"Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us. For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things.
"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.
-- Phil 3:7-21
You ARE going to leave a legacy -- as will I. The singular question that remains is -- "What kind?"
In His Bond, By His Grace, and for His Kingdom,
Bob Tolliver -- Romans 1:11
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"Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness,
examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so." -- Dr. Luke (Acts 17:11)
"A fire kept burning on the hearthstone of my heart, and I took up the burden of the day with fresh courage and hope." -- Charles F. McKoy
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Copyright January, 2023
"If Jesus had preached the same message that many ministers preach today, He would never have been crucified." -- Leonard Ravenhill
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