SHOULDER TO SHOULDER #23 ---- 6/21/98
Posted by: lifeunlimited <lifeunlimited@...>
Encouraging One Another as we "Fight the Good Fight"
Title: PERMANENT PEACE WITH OUR PERSONAL WARS
Dear Fellow Warrior:
It's great to be home! Though we're still recovering from the time
change of seven hours, and I'm still favoring that smashed ring finger,
I've enthusiastically anticipated this day of being back at my own
computer (with Spelling Check!) and my own internet service ---- even in
spite of the lightning strike last night that took out my modem (or
more!) on my desktop.
Frankly, I'm almost ashamed to "face" you today, after reading my last
three letters written from Croatia. I am appalled at all the grammatical
and typographical errors! Oh, some of those misspelled words! What an
embarrassment! Those who know me will understand that I'm a stickler for
good grammar, so to read through those letters was something akin to
having my fingernails pulled out one at a time without anesthetic.
Speaking of fingernails . . . .
After two and one-half weeks, my finger still gives me trouble, but is at
least improved enough that I can navigate without the splint or heavy
bandaging which kept me from typing normally. Although the swelling and
discoloration are about 95% gone, it is still draining around the finger
nail (which is completely loose from the bone and held in place only by
cuticle and quick), and the tip is still extremely tender to the touch
and especially to unexpected "bumps" against other objects.
There is also still a strange sensation of "snapping" or "popping"
inside, although no pain from it, that leads me to suspect it may have
indeed been broken by that "Mighty Hammer of Hrvatska (Croatia)" which I
was using. It is likely I will have continued inconvenience and
discomfort for several weeks or months more as the nail finally turns
loose and a new one begins to grow. It's such a strange sensation to
press down on the computer keyboard and feel that entire fingernail
shift!
FIGHTINGS WITHIN AND FEARS WITHOUT:
Last February, shortly after I had begun writing these weekly letters, I
became aware of the deep personal pain of two men, one an evangelist and
personal friend, another a former church staff member and of no
acquaintance of mine, both of whom were enduring terrible stress,
emotional and spiritual turmoil, and, in the latter case, immense
physical problems. Living hundreds of miles apart, each unknown to the
other, these guys share a commonality ---- they are both war veterans. .
. . . . . . With their personal wars still raging within.
I heard my evangelist friend break down and weep in the middle of sharing
his personal testimony. I knew the pain was deep and his wound grave
when he concluded by saying, "I have forgiven others, I know God has
forgiven me, but I haven't been able to forgive myself. Please pray for
me."
The other brother I know little about other than what mutual friends have
shared as they passed my encourager letters on to him. I have made
myself available to him, but so far, nothing has materialized ---- and
that's alright, because I may not be the guy God wants him to share with.
A THIRD MAN:
In addition to these two brothers in the Lord, there is another man ----
a very special guy ---- who also knows something of what these two know.
His name is Larry. Years ago, when I was pastoring in Iowa, he and his
sweet wife showed up in church one Sunday; she had just become a
Christian, and they were looking for a church home.
We developed an immediate friendship. They attended church regularly,
and we got together at least weekly to eat, fellowship, and discuss his
dozens of questions about knowing Christ.
Finally, at the end of one of our late-night discussions around their
kitchen table, I said, "Larry, you know enough right now to receive
Christ. You don't need me, and you don't need to wait until you get to
church. You could do it tonight. All I ask is that when you commit your
life to Christ, please let me know."
A few days later the phone rang, and Larry said, "I did it."
You can imagine our joy and celebration!
Larry and his wife eventually became two of our founding board members
for Life Unlimited Ministries back in 1980. Our friendship has lasted.
Their daughter was one of our youngest daughter's best friends and they
were suite mates together in college. She and her husband, Mike, became
part of our ministry team at a pastorate in Wisconsin.
What does Larry have to do with the content of this letter?
Well, he happens to be the Service Director for the Midwest Region of
Disabled American Veterans, and has served, I believe, as a national
officer. He is also a Viet Nam vet. When I learned of this second man,
I contacted Larry because I knew that he would understand what both of
these guys were going through.
AND A FOURTH:
I also contacted another friend, Jeff Floyd, founder and president of
Jubilee Ministries, an international ministry of revival, spiritual
awakening, evangelism, and restoration of relationships through Biblical
principles of forgiveness. One of his most popular ministries is his
three-day "Lay Aside Every Weight" seminar in which he shares the causes,
consequences, and cure of personal hurts that have been caused by
relationships, circumstances, and traumatic events.
Jeff will be returning with us to Croatia in late September to help us in
leading a conference for all pastors, church, and civic leaders in all of
Croatia and Bosnia entitled "Restoring A Nation Through Forgiveness". If
you would be interested in accompanying us on this trip and being
involved in ministry somewhere in Croatia and Bosnia for about three
weeks, drop me a line.
TIMELINESS:
It is timely that I would share the following with you after having just
returned from a land still bearing the scars of war on its houses, with
mines and mortars of war hidden amidst the field flowers of Spring, and
filled with a people still fighting the ghosted memories of war in their
souls.
Though not a participant in this war, the gallery of my own memory is
filled with paintings and portraits of people we have met and now know as
friends ---- angry men, weeping widows, frightened children, exhausted
pastors, driven missionaries and leaders ---- etched with the shadowed
colorations of fear uncontrolled, bitterness undenied, hopelessness
unhidden. They haunt me daily.
Seldom a day goes by without my thinking of Drago and Marina, the old man
with the cane, Nikoli and Alexandra, Dinko and Snjezana, the toothless
old woman, little Tamara with Down's Syndrome, the mentally "retarded"
children from Bijac, Stevo Dereta and his valiant staff, tireless Rod
from Scotland, professional nurse Tabita who does laundry at the Life
Center, ad infinitum.
And then I rehearse some of the vision Stevo has shared about rebuilding
Croatia, Bosnia, and Serbia. What a visionary!
What a vision!
What a mighty God!
What an opportunity!
What a need!
I am ready to go back!
The timing of this letter is probably connected as well to some reader
who needs it today.
Whoever you are, be blessed, . . .
encouraged, . . . .
and healed.
FINDING COURAGE TO HEAL THE WOUNDS:
Because of there being so many people in ministry who have been wounded
in some way through some type of traumatic experience, I felt Jeff Floyd
would be a great one to share occasional articles for my letter ---- such
as this one today. I have already used some of his material in the past.
After praying and thinking about these two men hurting so deeply because
of the Vietnam War, I asked Jeff to specifically write something for guys
(and their families) who have gone through such trauma. I can just about
guarantee you that you are either a person who went through some sort of
military conflict which has left some scars, or you know someone who has.
I trust Jeff's comments will bless, encourage, and help heal. If you use
his letter, please use it in its entirety and be sure to give proper
credits. That's the honorable and Christian thing to do.
Incidentally, Jeff has a daily e-mail letter entitled "Today". I
encourage you to subscribe.
Write him at <[email protected]>.
---------- A letter by Jeff Floyd ----------
"Today's message is in response to an urgent request by Bob Tolliver of
Life Unlimited Ministries based on many requests he has gotten from
pastors and others who have been in the military and at war. Hopefully,
it will be helpful. Feel free to pass it on.
"Today: WHEN THE WAR IS OVER BUT THE BATTLE GOES ON
"Most of the wars in which America has been involved during the twentieth
century have been fought during my lifetime. When I was a child we lived
on a large ranch in southeastern New Mexico. I can remember seeing the
sky filled with aircraft passing over day after day--bombers, fighters
and bombers pulling gliders. They were either preparing for war or were
off to it.
"The war was brought home to me in that about three miles from our house
was a bombing practice range. I could hear the bombs exploding day and
night as the bombers flew over. My dad constantly watched the skyline
for range fires which resulted from bomb explosions.
"As a child I knew heartache due to the death of older friends who were
killed on the beaches of Normandy or in the steamy jungles of the south
Pacific. I cried when my older brother went off to the navy and watched
almost daily for his return. I watched my friends go off to war during
the Korean conflict. As a young pastor I went with an army officer to
deliver a message to grieving parents in my congregation confirming the
death of their son in Viet Nam, and stood and wept as he and they wept
together.
"While touring the country sides of Normandy, Norma and I visited Omaha
Beach and were humbled and broken at the sight of thousands of American
grave sites where our youth fell in the quest of liberty for all. We
visited the War
Memorial at Verdun, France which contained records of those fallen in
battle during battles which raged in and around that city during two
world wars. Over 750,000 soldiers of all nationalities fell during 1916
alone at Verdun.
"For Americans, cannons are silent and the storming of foreign shores is
largely a memory. Though military aircraft still fly, it is usually for
training purposes. The only sound of machine guns and exploding bombs is
limited to
the practice fields. In spite of limited wars such as Desert Storm, the
last two decades have been mostly peaceful. The veterans have returned to
go back into their domestic lives. The wars are over.
"Or are they?
"How about the battles that continue to rage in the hearts of those who
have fought their country's battles? The terrifying dreams at night, the
insuppressible anger, tyrannical memories of danger, death and desperate
fear. The loss of comrades and the violation of moral standards, both
required by the demands of war and given in to during unguarded or
uncaring moments, are the contemporary battles still going on in the
hearts of many.
"Those of us who have not fought the physical wars of our times cannot
adequately identity with those of you who have, but I can with great
confidence assure you that in every watch, battle, or time of fear,
desperation, or moral deviation, the Lord Jesus was there. He cared for
you when you were
weak, fearful or lonely.
"He cares now.
"People who have gone through such trauma can find freedom from the
ongoing inward battles through the wonderful grace and mercy of Jesus.
ENDING THE WAR WITHIN:
"I have some suggestions for those of you who are still fighting the
aftermath of wars you have fought:
"1. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive!
"There is much to forgive, and there are many to forgive.
"1) Everyone who was responsible for the wars you were in who you can
call by name or office, everyone who was responsible for you being in
that war that you can call by name or office, everyone who angered you in
training, placement, on the battlefield and upon your return home who you
can call by name, office or rank must be specifically forgiven for every
specific offense.
"Generalization will not do. Memories always deal with specifics, and
therefore your forgiveness must be specific. Your freedom will be as
specific as you are.
"Many feel they must confront their offender to achieve forgiveness.
That is not only not necessary, but inadvisable.
"Forgiveness addresses your reaction to the failure, the wrong deeds and
intentions of others. Others are responsible for what they did ---- you
are responsible for your reactions to what they did.
"Your forgiveness must be unconditional (without qualification), complete
and final.
"2) Many will find they are angry at God because of the fact He didn't
prevent war or keep them from being involved. A person should
repentantly drop every charge he has levied against God for His perceived
failure asking His
forgiveness for any personal anger extended toward Him.
"3) Many service personnel have been forced to do many things which they
find to be unconscionable such as killing, maiming, destroying property
and a multitude of other hurtful things. These people must and should
forgive
themselves. To forgive ourselves is far more difficult than forgiving
others.
"As a believer, however, you do not have a right not to forgive yourself.
Jesus died and shed His blood for every wrong and bad thing you did. To
not forgive yourself is to doubt and to reject the worth and power of the
blood,
death and resurrection of Jesus.
"2. Receive Forgiveness!
"Everything which belabors your conscience was dealt with at the cross of
Jesus. His blood covers and cleanses all sin even the sins of war.
Confess specifically everything you can remember that you did which
violated your conscience as well as the person and rights of
others--enemy on not.
"Receive your forgiveness based on 1 John 1:9.
"Stand on it, it is yours.
"3. Surrender, Surrender, Surrender!
"Surrendering means to let go. Many continue to afflict themselves
trying somehow to spiritually and morally repatriate themselves by
afflicting themselves. Let go. You are entrapping yourself by clinging
to every adverse thing.
"Surrender all of these things to God once and for all.
"4). Fill your life with praise, thanksgiving and rejoicing in, for, and
what Jesus is doing and has done for you.
GET YOUR DISCHARGE;
"It is time to let go of your private war and let God heal, fill and
thrill you. Your deserve it because He says you do."
Jeff
Jefferson H. Floyd, Director
Jubilee Ministries
P. O. Box 3202
Carmel, IN 46032
Copyright April, 1998 by Jefferson H. Floyd. All rights reserved.
SUMMARY THOUGHTS:
1. I hope Jeff's comments have encouraged you and perhaps given you some
insight ---- more importantly, a plan of action.
>From personal experience with my own "wars", though never involved in
military conflict, I can declare that his suggestions are right on target
---- and they will work! Every single one of those four steps is
absolutely indispensable. You cannot skip or ignore even one. Some of
them, most of them in fact, you'll probably have to grasp and take action
by raw, gut-wrenching faith. But you must do it, if you are going to be
free from the prison of past memories of horror.
2. I recently ran across an e-mail newsletter designed specifically for
veterans, especially Vietnam vets.
I have not read any of the material, and know nothing about it. All I
can say is that, if you are a vet or know a vet who would like the
benefits of communication and support from fellow vets, this might be one
to check out.
Here is the information as I copied and pasted it into this letter:
" Welcome to [email protected]!
"Please save this message so that you know the address you are
subscribed under, in case you later want to unsubscribe or change
your
subscription address.
"The mission for LZ-Hope is to have a safe place for Vietnam
veterans and their
loved ones to come. A place where they can receive understanding
and get
prayer from people who understand where they are in their spiritual
walk.
People on this mailing list have been where they are and understand
how they
feel."
IN CONCLUSION:
God bless you, dear friend. Even though I don't know many of you
personally, each week I write these letters, I find myself thinking of
Paul's comments he penned to the Roman believers ---- "For I long to see
you in order that I may impart some spiritual gift to you, that you may
be established; that is, that I may be encouraged together with you while
among you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine." (Rom
1:11-12)
Don't ask me why or how I feel that way ---- I just do.
My genuine, heart-felt, Spirit-driven prayer for you is that of John's
---- "Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good
health, just as your soul prospers." (III John 1:2)
In Christ's Great Bond,
Bob Tolliver
Copyright June, 1998. Permission is granted to copy or forward this
letter, with credits, to anyone who you feel might benefit from its
content.
LIFE UNLIMITED MINISTRIES
ADDRESS: Route 1, Box 87AB, Collins, MO 64738
Ph: 417-275-4854. Fax: 417-275-4855
E-mail: [email protected]