SHOULDER TO SHOULDER #71 ---- 5-30-99
Posted by: root <root@...>
Fight The Good Fight of Faith
Shoulder To Shoulder #72 ---- 5-30-99
Title: "Ministry's Ownership"
My dear fellow servant:
As I write today, it is a balmy Sunday afternoon in Crikevenica,
Croatia, most of my team is swimming in the Adriatic sea, getting a sun
tan, or taking a nap (Jo Ann is taking a nap), and in the meantime I'm
sitting here before a computer with a totally re-configured keyboard,
frantically using the "seek and ye shall find" method of locating
mismarked keys and secretly hidden punctuation marks.
Add to that a sadistic mix of Croatian alphabet letters, and then force
this frustrated writer to use a word processing program that looks
familiar enough to be tackled, but foreign enough to never be mastered.
And, I'd much rather be sitting out on the bench enjoying the beauty of
a land that has found a home in my heart.
It's enough to drive one mad.
But then, ---- I see the similarities: this looks like acts like,
sounds like, and feels like ---- the ministry!
The z is where the y should be, and the y is where the z should be. The
quotes mark is above the 2, and the @ sign has completely gone
underground below the v where you have to use the "control" and the
"alt" key to even get at it.
The dash and the underline moved to the original home of the question
mark and the slash, being replaced by the apostrophe and the question
mark. I still don't know where the slash has gone, and up until a few
moments ago I used no contractions, and asked no questions ---- it was
easier that way than to try to find them.
Compromise and change neither come easily ---- even when using an
unyielding computer.
Now, I could go on and type the same way I always have. I could refuse
to face change. I could insist, as Ralph Neighbour's great book, The
Seven Last Words of A Dying Church, describes, ---- "we've never done it
that way before."
But ---- it would look something like this.
Bz the time were done, dont zou think this will be a great blessing_
)Ill never be the same=, and will move into a new yone ''''where
well all be verz happz.
It looks somewhat familiar, but sure does sound strange!
Many of us face such situations where things look just familiar enough
to keep us going, but foreign enough to unsettle us and make us fearful.
MINISTRY FRUSTRATIONS:
Much of our ministry is "character-ized" by similar unknowns and
frustrations ---- from either
1) people "being", "having", or "behaving" differently than what they
were assigned or than what we expected,
2) conditions changing from that with which we have become familiar
---- and comfortable, or
3) our own unyieldedness and willingness to change.
As a result, we spend most of our time searching for the right "keys",
trying to locate the "lost" ones, getting frustrated with how some have
changed without our knowledge ---- or approval ---- , creating "macro's"
to get around the ones we don't like or want, and then, to top it all
off, being faced with discovering and mastering an entirely new "system"
that we think may work better.
To coin (or "counterfeit") a recent advertisement ---- It doesnt get
anz better than this! ---- or rather, "It doesn't get any worse than
this!"
Now, it's interesting that I experienced an earlier recent episode with
similar uncertainty and change a few days ago.
I had promised the church where I'm interim pastor that I would e-mail
them every Wednesday and Saturday. Obviously, since we left on
Wednesday and were actually somewhere over the North Atlantic when their
Wednesday evening services were being conducted, I had to write my
letter somewhat early and "by faith".
So, I said something similar to this: "We left on time, everything is
fine, we've arrived safely in Vienna, and it was an uneventful trip.
I'll fill you in Saturday."
Well ---- two out of four isn't bad. We did leave on time, and we did
arrive safely in Vienna. But the other two thoughts were totally off
the mark ---- even off the wall.
We took off from KCI to Detroit right on the mark, made our "tight"
transfer to our connecting flight to Amsterdam, and, after a long seven
and one half hour flight through the short night, landed in Amsterdam
and taxied to the tarmac just 50 feet from our gate ---- with plenty of
time to spare in making our connecting flight to Vienna.
Then ---- things began to change.
When our plane failed to dock at the gate, our pilot informed us that,
"even though we make this flight every day, seven days a week, we dock
at this same gate each day, and the people here know that, nobody
bothered to let us know that today this gate is not operating for some
reason. So, we'll be shutting down our engines and will be brought into
the gate by a tug. It will be just a few minutes more wait, and we'll
have you on your way."
(I should have been suspicious when he said, " . . . just a few minutes
more wait . . . ".)
We waited . . . . . and waited . . . . . and got hot . . . . and waited
some more . . . . and got hotter . . . . and . . . .
"Crunch! Shudder!"
I thought ---- "that tug driver needs to be a little more careful
hitching up to that front landing gear! The way that felt, he could
have knocked it out from under the nose of the plane!"
We waited some more . . . . and some more . . . . and . . .
Finally, the captain got on the intercom: "Well, folks, you're not
going to believe this, but, while we've been sitting here, engines shut
down (and all of us are getting very hot by now, I might add), and our
brake lights on, we have just been hit by another plane taxi-ing behind
us, and we're hooked together. our tail section to his left front wing."
Well, so much for careless tug operators!
Finally, after another 20 minute wait for the big decision makers
upstairs to decide the best way (probably the cheapest) to get us out of
there, all 400+ of us walked down the temporary stairs, fifty feet to
the gate chute, up the service stairs, and into the airport ---- thirty
minutes after our flight to Vienna had already left.
Our next course of action was to be directed to the transfer desk for
re-routing. Upon being scheduled for a flight on another airline, we
were promptly seated. I kept wondering about our luggage (I still had
memories of last year's trip when eleven of us were awakened at 2:30
a.m. with our lost luggage being delivered.), but all uncertainty was
alleviated when we were told that no luggage could be unloaded until the
two planes were separated, because the weight shift would cause our
lumbering 747 to lift up several inches, making the task much more
difficult.
Well ---- at least we knew where our luggage was (if that was any
consolation!) ---- and where it would remain for some time to come.
I thought to myself ---- "Gee! This is alot like the ministry, isn't
it! Just about the time you think things are airborne and in good
shape, someone tail ends you, upsets everything, and sends you in a
direction totally unplanned and undesired ---- and ill supplied."
MINISTRY ANXIETY:
At this point something happened in my emotions ---- not my spirit, mind
you ---- nor in my mind. I knew all the facts, and I understood the
situation fully. I even knew there was absolutely nothing I could do
about the situation, so I should relax, enjoy the flight, and help the
team have a good "cultural and time change" acclimation day in Vienna
before going on to Croatia.
But ---- I also remembered last year ---- and I began to anticipate ----
to speculate ---- to dread the inevitable.
Then something more happened.
We didn't take off immediately.
Not long after the new captain announced our flight time, he came back
on the intercom and announced that we had a 58 minute wait (I still
don't know why he didn't just say an hour ---- if they can't be
efficient, at least they can be accurate, I guess) because of "a heavy
European air traffic". I wondered if that was a code phrase to indicate
NATO traffic, which often happens throughout western Europe these days.
Finally, nonetheless (or at least not too much "the less") for wear and
tear, we landed in Vienna, unrealistically still full of energy and
relatively good focus on life. Since we arrived so much later in the
day, we modified our plans to simply get checked into our pension/hostel
(I just found the slash mark!!! It's over the 7!), eat some supper and
go to bed.
By this time Jo Ann and I had been awake and upright for 29 hours,
preceded by a 21 hour day the day before, so we ate an early Viennese
supper of Austrian (NOT Hungarian!) goulash (maybe it's "ghoul-ash") and
dumpling (not plural, but singular ---- about the size of a small
softball) for me and something or other for her, and then headed to bed
early at around 7:00 ---- now after 32 hours in an upright position.
I thought to myself ---- "Boy, does this feel good! And I've got a
chance for a very long sleep ahead of me. Good night, self."
When I awoke, it was with a start. I realized I was in the very middle
of a thought in process. "What about the luggage? Will it come again
the middle of the night (like maybe the Lord?)? Can they get in the
locked door? Will any of the guys hear if someone pounds on the door?
Will the airline even find the luggage? What about all the door knobs,
wire nuts, humanitarian supplies, gifts for the refugees, and ---- our
clothes?? Maybe the same thing will happen this year that happened four
years ago when Ron's stuff finally arrived the day we headed home!!!"
Talk about a disoriented night mare!
And I know it wasn't all that monster meatball!
When I finally awoke enough to check the time, I found I had been asleep
for only two hours ---- it was only 9:00 p.m. "Great!" I thought ----
"I've still got plenty of time to sleep."
Little did I know what was coming.
For the next seven hours I slept in ten minute shifts, with my mind
never disconnecting to get its own rest. Every time I awoke to
consciousness, I was in the middle of the same thought process, filled
with "What if's" and "I'll bets".
It was a miserable night.
Well, as is so often the case with the Lord's faithfulness, a phone call
at 8:00 the next morning assured us the luggage was there and waiting
for us at the door.
So, we were off to a "no tight schedule" day of relaxation, enjoying the
beauty of a unique city, the freshness of a European Spring day, and the
adventure of exploring the benches along Kartnerstrasse while the rest
of the team took full advantage of their one day pass to all forms of
public transportation in Vienna.
But ---- every once in awhile, a thought crept into my consciousness
---- "I really dread all that heavy luggage, hauling it in and out of
the trams, trolleys ---- and the train!"
But then I'd push it aside ---- and enjoy Vienna.
We finished the day with a final ride around the "Ring" so we could see
the beautifully lighted buildings by night. We didn't expect, however,
to see the anti-NATO demonstration in front of the Parliament building
---- but that was o.k. We weren't there representing either NATO or the
United States ---- we were ambassadors of a higher King, on a greater
mission.
The little kingdoms with the little agendas would have to bow to the
True King of all other kings.
When we got to bed that night, I began to anticipate the early rising
time in order to leave the hostel by 6:30 the next morning. To leave
any later would jeopardize our having time to get necessary food items
for the ten hour train ride to Croatia which departed at 7:55, so I knew
we couldn't leave any later.
I drifted off to sleep somewhere in the middle of, "Will we get
everything on the tram in less than one minute? Can we make the
transfer from 48A to 13A? Will we get to the Sudbahnhof in time for the
kids to buy breakfast and lunch items for the trip? Will we get on the
train in time to get that extra compartment we need for the team? And,
what about that luggage!?"
REPEATING MINISTRY MISERIES:
And, believe it or not ---- the previous night repeated itself.
And ---- so did the day, to some extent.
When I finally awoke and remained awake at 3:00 that morning, I began to
relive and review the past and rehearse and dread the immediate future
---- a common practice of many ministers today.
But ---- our wonderful team, somehow sensing the unexplainable anxiety I
was feeling, went truly above and beyond the call of duty in responding
to my leadership (?). We made Tram 48A in great shape ---- a really
good sign.
A local who spoke English, however, recommended we take 48A all the way
to the "Ring" and then transfer to Tram D. "It is much faster," he
said. Thanking him for his suggestion, I told him we'd just play it
safe and stay with our proven plan because we were not pressed for time
(which was not true ---- in fact, it was a flat out lie. But, we'd
rather save face than face change sometimes.)
(By the way ---- I hope you don't mind my being totally honest. If I'm
not, I have no reason to write you weekly.)
We got off at the appropriate stop ---- only to discover that because of
a local "street sale and flea market" Tram 13A had been re-routed, with
no schedule posted.
Finally, after watching two more 48A's go by, and seeing no 13A in
sight, I stopped the next 48A and was assured that taking that Austrian
good samaritan's earlier counsel would be very wise.
Waving the team and all 26 pieces of luggage on board while the driver
patiently waited for another "luggage loaded fool American" to get
aboard, I confidently and authoritatively advised the team that I had
decided it was wise to go on and take the more certain route.
When we arrived at the "Ring", Tram D was already there, and ready to
go. After I asked the driver, "Sudbahnhof?" (when you don't know the
language, you ask short questions!), and he nodded affirmatively, I
motioned the team on, and we began the process again ---- almost.
Somehow in the process of confusion, our plan of two guys and four gals
at each of two doors broke down, and we ended up with two guys at two
doors, and none at a third.
Just as the tram doors shut and the driver began to pull away, Jo Ann
let out a yell that would have put an end to the anti-NATO demonstration
the night before. Amy was still outside with luggage.
The driver was not impressed, and continued on. Then a little Austrian
grandma type fireball with red hair let the driver know it was his duty
to stop. Still refusing, he indicated he had no control, but had to
keep going because of schedule. Then she let him know that that tram
had brakes and to be a good Austrian citizen and stop the #
tram. That was one time I was glad I didn't understand German,
whichever kind was being spoken.
With a shrug of his shoulders, the humiliated driver stopped the tram
and six-foot seven-inch Chris jumped off the tram, came to Amy's rescue,
and got everything on board.
Well, in spite of my totally unrealistic and unexplainable worry and
frustration, we got to the train station on time, got our food, and got
the extra compartment ---- just like God had planned all along. We
could have done it all with half the worry.
And ---- for the first time in four full days, I finally began to relax.
But the story doesn't end there.
MINISTRY PRESSURES:
My friend, I cannot even come close to explaining this most unusual
episode with fear and anxiety I experienced. But, I do know that such
encounters are commonplace among people in ministry. Somehow, I think
it relates in some way to what I wrote about last week.
When we do not appropriate the anointing for ministry, no matter how
mundane or routine it may be, we will face unnecessary intimidations
from the enemy in the form of accusations, speculations, condemnations,
and insinuations. They are often delivered in the envelopes of "What
if?", "If only!", "Maybe if," and "You should have!", addressed directly
to you and marked "Personal".
God gave me four of the greatest sons-in-law a man could ever ask for.
One of them wrote concerning my letter last week on Isaiah 61. After
described that feeling of being "overwhelmed" by circumstances of
ministry, and comparing his ministry circumstances to that of the pastor
in Croatia about whom I wrote, he concluded his comments like this:
"My 'overwhelmedness' at their tragedy has paralyzed me into passivity.
No one does anything in their situation and it gets worse, and my guilt
grows. . .
"And then I read ---- just a few simple words ---- far from the crushing
reality that he (Stevo) lives ---- about Stevo ministering in truly
overwhelming circumstances ---- and (sometime) feeling defeated. And
your encougement to him from God is the same as God's encouragement to
me:
"He is anointed. I am anointed.
"Ministry still takes place there. Ministry will take place here.
"They will rebuild. We will rebuild.
"If . . . .
"He continues ---- and I continue ---- in the strength and anointing God
provides to meet overwhelming ministry situations.
"Thanks for another terrific letter."
MINISTRY OWNERSHIP:
After a ten hour ride through the beauty of Austrian countryside and the
Illyrian Alps of Slovenia, we arrived Saturday evening at the train
station ---- right on time ---- and at the Life Center on the Adriatic
Sea ---- early.
We were greeted by Teo, two New Zealanders and a Brit ---- TQO (The
Quiet One), TLBO (The Layed Back One), and TWO (The Wired One). We've
been told that TQO is really a party animal in disguise. Their real
names are Nick, Andrew, and Steven. These three great brothers have
already blessed us by their servant spirit and will challenge each of us
to greater heights of ministry through deeper levels of humility.
After supper lovingly prepared by Life Center staff, we got settled into
our rooms ---- and then headed to our favorite ice cream shop operated
by two guys from Macedonia. When one of them saw me coming from across
the street, it was like seeing a long lost friend. It was a great
blessing we have enjoyed now for five years ---- to experience reunion
again.
Then, it was time came for our team meeting ---- and the point of this
whole episode.
The meeting was brief. Still extremely tired and running primarily on
the fumes of an empty gas tank, I made some "house keeping"
announcements and then turned the meeting to Jo Ann who wanted to share
some thoughts that would bring us back to the reality of genuine
servanthood and the real reason for this trip. It was great.
When she finished, here came six foot seven inch Chris again. Jumping
off another "Tram D", he again came to the rescue.
"You guys, we know Bob and Jo Ann have been under lots of pressure from
the responsibility they have for our safety and welfare, and all the
details of this trip. We also know Jennifer didn't sleep well again
last night. So I think we need to gather around them, lay hands on
them, and pray for them before we go to bed ---- that God will lift the
burden, take away the unnecessary concerns (I appreciate his diplomacy),
and give them good rest tonight."
Everyone gathered around us like iron particles drawn to a magnet.
Several prayed genuine and caring prayers.
Then, here came Amy again. It is fascinating to consider the
significance of Chris' and Amy's experience with Tram D both earlz in
the morning in Vienna and here at the LC late in the evening.
Have you ever been hit by a "love clobber"?
That's what she ---- that's what the Holy Spirit hit me with last night
---- a "love clobber".
She prayed, "Lord, show Bob that he doesn't own this trip or this team,
and therefore, its success and our safety are not his responsibility
---- they are Yours. Remove that burden from him, and let him sleep
tonight."
As soon as she prayed those words, I knew ---- she hit the mark. Taking
control and assuming ownership were at the core of my anxiety. "If you
own it, you're responsible for it. If you're responsible for it, you
worry about it." It's that simple.
And I knew better ---- for many years I've known better. What a foolish
thing for a man with over 43 years of experience in ministry to have
done! But I did it ---- somehow, I had assumed ownership of something
that was not mine.
When we walked away from the meeting, my body was still exhausted, but
my soul had been released and refreshed.
I finally got to bed near midnight Saturday night, and awoke Sunday
around 6:00 ---- refreshed, and feeling as if I had slept soundly
nightly for weeks before. Jo Ann was already up, had her hairdo "done",
and was all smiles and sweetness.
Jennifer was the first person I encountered in the hallway. Her first
words were, "How did you sleep last night? I slept all night long with
ever waking up, and I feel wonderful."
WHO OWNS YOUR MINISTRY?
My friend, why have I shared this recent episode in my life? Because of
ownership. If God owns my ministry, He owns the truth, and expects me
to honestly and transparently share it as it is expressed in the
experiences of His ministry being expressed to me and through me.
It's the same with you, friend.
Who owns your ministry? He does, of course.
But ---- are you acting like it?
Every moment in which you submit to His ownership of the ministry He has
entrusted to your stewardship and servanthood will be a moment that is
free from worry and anxiety. The more you own and attempt to control,
the more of your time, treasure, and energy will be spent on trying to
enforce that ownership and control.
So ---- what do you want to do, friend? Spend more days trying to make
sure all schedules are met? Trying to figure out how to get all the
baggage moved? Trying to make sure everybody sees that you've "got it
all together"?
I propose a better way ---- acknowledge the true Owner. Stewardship and
trusteeship are a lot easier and more stress free.
Have a great week, ---- trustee. Do a good job this week of following
orders left by the Owner.
In Christ's Bond,
Bob Tolliver ---- Romans 1:12
Copyright May, 1999. All rights reserved.
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