No Excuse Sunday: Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.” We have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.” Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot. We have hearing aids for those who say, “The preacher speaks too softly,” and cotton balls for those who say, “He preaches too loudly.” Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sundays. There will be TV dinners for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner also. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to worship God in nature. Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.