THE DOCTOR SAYS
Posted by: tz8cy5 <tz8cy5@...>
The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as
dictated by physicians:
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was
feeling better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had
completely disappeared.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
The patient refused an autopsy.
Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
The patient has a past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
She slipped on the ice and her legs went in separate directions in early
December.
She is numb from her toes down.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran
out of gas and crashed.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
Her skin was moist and dry.
Patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant,
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three day.