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The HR Manager
#1 · April 29, 1999, 8:34 am
Posted by: tz8cy5 <tz8cy5@...>
One day while walking downtown, a human resources manager was hit
by a bus and was tragically killed. Her soul arrived up in heaven where
she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. �Welcome to
Heaven,� said St. Peter. �Before you get settled in though, it seems we
have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we�ve never once had an HR
manager make it this far and we�re not really sure what to do with you.�
�No problem, just let me in,� said the woman.
�Well, I�d like to, but I have higher orders. What we�re going to
do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can
choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in,� the Saint
replied.
�Actually, I think I�ve made up my mind...I prefer to stay in
Heaven�.
�Sorry, we have rules...� And with that St. Peter put in an
elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the HR
manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful
golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of
her were all her friends- fellow HR professionals that she had worked
with. They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They
ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.
They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country
club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met
the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute), and she had a
great time telling jokes and dancing. The HR manager was having such a
good time that before she knew it; it was time to leave. Everybody shook
her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates
where St. Peter was waiting for her. �Now it�s time to spend a day in
Heaven� he said. So the HR manager spent the next 24 hours lounging
around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great
time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and
got her.
�So, you�ve spent a day in Hell and you�ve spent a day in Heaven.
Now you must choose your eternity,� he said.
The HR manager paused for a second and then replied, �well, I never
thought I�d say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but
I think I had a better time in Hell.�
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the consultant
went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened
she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage
and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up
garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. The Devil came up
to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her. �I don�t
understand,� stammered the HR manager, �yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced
and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look miserable.�
The Devil looked at her and grinned, �that�s because yesterday we
were recruiting you, but today you�re staff.�
by a bus and was tragically killed. Her soul arrived up in heaven where
she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. �Welcome to
Heaven,� said St. Peter. �Before you get settled in though, it seems we
have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we�ve never once had an HR
manager make it this far and we�re not really sure what to do with you.�
�No problem, just let me in,� said the woman.
�Well, I�d like to, but I have higher orders. What we�re going to
do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can
choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in,� the Saint
replied.
�Actually, I think I�ve made up my mind...I prefer to stay in
Heaven�.
�Sorry, we have rules...� And with that St. Peter put in an
elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the HR
manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful
golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of
her were all her friends- fellow HR professionals that she had worked
with. They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They
ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.
They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country
club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met
the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute), and she had a
great time telling jokes and dancing. The HR manager was having such a
good time that before she knew it; it was time to leave. Everybody shook
her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates
where St. Peter was waiting for her. �Now it�s time to spend a day in
Heaven� he said. So the HR manager spent the next 24 hours lounging
around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great
time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and
got her.
�So, you�ve spent a day in Hell and you�ve spent a day in Heaven.
Now you must choose your eternity,� he said.
The HR manager paused for a second and then replied, �well, I never
thought I�d say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but
I think I had a better time in Hell.�
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the consultant
went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened
she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage
and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up
garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. The Devil came up
to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her. �I don�t
understand,� stammered the HR manager, �yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced
and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look miserable.�
The Devil looked at her and grinned, �that�s because yesterday we
were recruiting you, but today you�re staff.�
--
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