The Mistakes part 1
Posted by: abundant <abundant@...>
The Mistakes
- Making up requires a fight
We all make mistakes. There is no way around it; if you are married for more than 15 minutes chances are you have made a mistake in your marriage.
Three very common mistakes we make that lead to marriage problems are:
- Self Centeredness
i. “I am my own man/woman”
ii. “I must be happy before any one else can be happy”
iii. “How can I benefit from this relationship?”
iv. “My way or the highway”
v. Characteristics are selfish, self protective, insensitive to others, (me, Me, ME!)
- The King in I
i. “I am the king, you are my servant”
ii. Archie Bunker – ‘fix my dinner, get me a beer, get out of my chair”
iii. Boss to employee relationship attitude
iv. The woman is subservient to the man
v. They must always get their way and their way is ALWAYS best
vi. Characteristics – demanding, prideful, arrogant, pushy,
- The Mountain meets the Molehill
i. “You were 5 minutes late and did not call me”
ii. “This OJ has pulp in it”
iii. “What do you mean you only got a A-“
iv. Characteristics – nagging, petty, childish, nitpicking
The inevitable mistake is not your problem. It is how you respond to that mistake that is your problem.
- Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt
- Treat them with the understanding of Jesus Christ
- Try to understand why they did what they did
- Remember that marriage take 100% effort from BOTH of you to work
- Home is EQUAL ground
Make “making up” a major part of your life; do it big!
· Special Dinner
· Massage
· Gifts and flowers
· Be real and intimate
- When things go real bad
Sometimes the are other issues in your relationship become so painful, so major and so destructive that you believe that there must be a separation.
This is not God’s PERFECT Will, but it is His PERMISSIVE Will
What are reasons for divorce. Basically anything that breaks the marriage covenant.
I believe that there are 3 reasons that give us permission to divorce; (remember that permission is not requirement):
- Adultery- Relationship outside the marriage. This can be physical, emotional or mental and may include another person, a habit or a thing.
- Abuse – Physical, mental or emotional. God’s second greatest command is to love our neighbor as ourselves; how much more do you think we should love our spouse?
- Addiction – If you or your spouse is addicted to alcohol, drugs, pornography or basically anything that stands between you and God and/or your spouse your marriage is in trouble. Addiction destroys trust, finances, compassion and love. Addiction soon leads to abuse and adultery.
God’s perfect Will is for one man and one woman for all time. He also knows that we will make mistakes and goof up.
Divorce is NOT the unpardonable sin. Divorce is not the end of your life, simply the beginning of a new chapter.
You can begin again.
- The hope for tomorrow
Restoration is always available to those who earnestly seek God and His reclamation
in their life.
Never give up! God has promised us two major things you need to know.
· The things of this world will go away
· The important things will always be here for you. Faith, Hope and Love
Is divorce the end? No. There is life after divorce. The same forgiveness and restoration God has for all the other sin in our life is available in a divorce situation.
Remember that you can begin again. It will be tough and there will be struggles and pain but you can live again.
Start with the most important things.
· Get back into real fellowship with God
· Strive to get financially stable
· Take some time to heal. Do not jump into a new relationship, you are not ready. Take 2 to 3 years before you start even thinking about another relationship apart from God and Family.
· Get some counseling. Talk with your pastor or go to a professional counselor and work through any known or unknown issues.
Always remember that God loves you….and so do we
Bulletin Outline:
The Family When Trouble Comes
There will be times of trouble in every relationship. We all
make mistakes. Hopefully we can learn from them and grow
into a better person and spouse.
Today we will talk about the family n trouble.
1. We all make mistakes
a. Self Centeredness (me, Me, ME!)
b. The King IN I (Archie Bunker Syndrome)
c. The Mountain Meets the molehill
2. We can recover
a. Give them the benefit of the doubt
b. Be the presence of Christ in your marriage
c. Remember that marriage requires a 110 % effort
from both of you to survive.
d. Home is EQUAL ground
3. When things go real bad
Sometimes there are issues in your relationship that
become so painful, so major and so destructive that there
must be a change.
a. Gods Perfect Will and God’s Permissive Will
b. Don’t give up too easily
c. Reasons for Divorce
1. Adultery
2. Abuse
3. Addiction
4. The Hope for Tomorrow
a. Reclamation and restoration
b. Relationship with God an absolute necessity
c. Strive to get financially stable
d. Take time to heal.
e. Get some counseling
You can begin again!
