The Mistakes, Part 2

#1 · May 31, 2002, 2:45 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on May 31, 2002, 2:45 pm
Posted by: abundant <abundant@...>

The Mistakes, Part 2

The kids in the mess or keeping your kids through divorce and trying times

Matthew 18:1-6 “About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Which of us is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?" Jesus called a small child over to him and put the child among them. Then he said, "I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck.” (NLT)

Parents have a great responsibility to care for their children in the Will of God. God’s word says that we are to raise HIS children with His love and in His faith. We are in dire straights if we harm our children and cause them to lose faith.

Divorce has broken the faith of many, many children. They bear the brunt of the weight of our failures and they lose their faith, their hope and their love. Children are hurt by divorce. Usually they are damaged the most; usually because they don’t understand what is going on, they still love both parents and sometimes they blame themselves for the break up.

Remember that you can divorce one another but you cannot divorce your kids

Advice for the kids

You are not at fault. These are parent problems. Do not blame yourself or your brothers and sisters.
Know that you are caught in this mess; not responsible for them
Let the adults work this out – not you. Believe it or not the real world does not work like a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie. You be a kid and let the adults worry and get ulcers over their problems
Remember that God’s rule for you to honor and obey your parents still applies to you; even if they are fighting or divorced.
If your parents don’t agree on some issue regarding you – tell them to figure it out – don’t try to bear the burden of trying to make them happy.
Do not “play” your parents against each other. If one says no, then it’s no. Don’t try again with the other parent.
Do not use this as an opportunity to fail. Keep up your schoolwork, your chores and your faith during this time.
Do not use this as a time to rebel and stay away from home. You have enough stress in your life right now without changing your life, your friends, your habits or trying new stuff like drugs and alcohol.
Strive to excel in these tough times.

Parents remember these basic key points:

The kids are innocent. They did not cause your problems – you did. Do not treat them like they did
They still need both parents in their lives. Unless there is addiction, abuse or some other safety issue involved live close together so your children can know both parents.
Your kids are NOT your spies! Do not use them to gather information against your spouse or ex. This is not their job.
Your kids are not your messengers. If you have a message to get across talk to your spouse or ex. This is not their job.
The kids are not your terrorists or field agents sent to destroy your spouse or ex spouse. This is not their job
Your kids are not pawns in the games you and your spouse or ex may choose to play. This is not their job.
Their job is to simply be a kid. To play, to grow, to learn, to have fun, enjoy life and break a window every now and then. Do not let your mess harm your kids any more than it has already.

Remember that these children belong to God and He has chosen and entrusted you with their life; honor and obey your Heavenly Father by protecting them from all harm, even the damage that may occur in your home.

Keep your home a place of hope, acceptance and peace; not a warzone.

Posted by: abundant <abundant@...>

The Mistakes, Part 2

The kids in the mess or keeping your kids through divorce and trying times

Matthew 18:1-6 “About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Which of us is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?" Jesus called a small child over to him and put the child among them. Then he said, "I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck.” (NLT)

Parents have a great responsibility to care for their children in the Will of God. God’s word says that we are to raise HIS children with His love and in His faith. We are in dire straights if we harm our children and cause them to lose faith.

Divorce has broken the faith of many, many children. They bear the brunt of the weight of our failures and they lose their faith, their hope and their love. Children are hurt by divorce. Usually they are damaged the most; usually because they don’t understand what is going on, they still love both parents and sometimes they blame themselves for the break up.

Remember that you can divorce one another but you cannot divorce your kids

Advice for the kids

You are not at fault. These are parent problems. Do not blame yourself or your brothers and sisters.
Know that you are caught in this mess; not responsible for them
Let the adults work this out – not you. Believe it or not the real world does not work like a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie. You be a kid and let the adults worry and get ulcers over their problems
Remember that God’s rule for you to honor and obey your parents still applies to you; even if they are fighting or divorced.
If your parents don’t agree on some issue regarding you – tell them to figure it out – don’t try to bear the burden of trying to make them happy.
Do not “play” your parents against each other. If one says no, then it’s no. Don’t try again with the other parent.
Do not use this as an opportunity to fail. Keep up your schoolwork, your chores and your faith during this time.
Do not use this as a time to rebel and stay away from home. You have enough stress in your life right now without changing your life, your friends, your habits or trying new stuff like drugs and alcohol.
Strive to excel in these tough times.

Parents remember these basic key points:

The kids are innocent. They did not cause your problems – you did. Do not treat them like they did
They still need both parents in their lives. Unless there is addiction, abuse or some other safety issue involved live close together so your children can know both parents.
Your kids are NOT your spies! Do not use them to gather information against your spouse or ex. This is not their job.
Your kids are not your messengers. If you have a message to get across talk to your spouse or ex. This is not their job.
The kids are not your terrorists or field agents sent to destroy your spouse or ex spouse. This is not their job
Your kids are not pawns in the games you and your spouse or ex may choose to play. This is not their job.
Their job is to simply be a kid. To play, to grow, to learn, to have fun, enjoy life and break a window every now and then. Do not let your mess harm your kids any more than it has already.

Remember that these children belong to God and He has chosen and entrusted you with their life; honor and obey your Heavenly Father by protecting them from all harm, even the damage that may occur in your home.

Keep your home a place of hope, acceptance and peace; not a warzone.