Quote from Forum Archives on January 22, 2006, 12:28 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Power of Prayer"

 

 

A small boy badly wanted a baby brother, so his dad suggested he pray
every night for one. The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but
his prayers seemingly weren't answered. After a few weeks, he didn't
bother to ask anymore.

 

Some months later, his dad said they were going to see Mom in the
hospital and he was going to get a big surprise. When they got to the
room, the little boy saw his mother holding two babies.

 

"Well, what do you think about having twin brothers?" his dad asked.
The little boy thought for a moment and replied, "I bet you're glad I
stopped praying when I did."

 

 

"Never Sick"

 

 

Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

 

By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.

 

Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

 

"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."

 

"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.

 

"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.

 

"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."

 

"A DAY WITH A DEER HUNTER"

 

 

1:00 am - Alarm clock rings.

 

2:00 am - Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed.

 

3:00 am - Throw everything except kitchen sink in pickup.

 

3:05 am - Leave for the deep woods.

 

3:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun.

 

3:30 am - Drive like crazy to get to woods before daylight.

 

4:00 am - Set up camp, forgot tent.

 

4:30 am - Head into woods.

 

6:05 am - See eight deer.

 

6:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.

 

6:07 am - "Click".

 

6:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over hill.

 

8:00 am - Head back to camp.

 

9:00 am - Still looking for camp.

 

10:00 am - Realize you don't know where camp is.

 

Noon - Fire gun for help. Eat wild berries.

 

12:15 pm - Ran out of bullets, eight deer come back.

 

12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach.

 

12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries.

 

12:45 pm - Rescued.

 

12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.

 

3:00 pm - Arrived back in camp.

 

3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer.

 

4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets.

 

4:01 pm - Load gun, leave camp again.

 

5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.

 

6:00 pm - Arrive at camp, see deer grazing in camp.

 

6:01 pm - Load gun.

 

6:02 pm - Fire gun.

 

6:03 pm - One dead pickup truck.

 

6:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.

 

6:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.

 

6:07 pm - Fall into fire.

 

6:10 pm - Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire.

 

6:15 pm - Take pickup, leave partner and his deer in woods.

 

6:25 pm - Pickup boils over, hole shot in radiator.

 

6:26 pm - Start walking.

 

6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.

 

6:35 pm - Meet bear.

 

6:36 pm - Take aim.

 

6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud.

 

6:38 pm - Have accident in pants.

 

6:39 pm - Climb tree.

 

9:00 pm - Bear departs, wrap gun around tree.

 

Midnight - Home at last!

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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