The Practical Joke Monday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
with ill fitting cloths. There were several fellows who thought
it smart to make fun of him. One day one fellow noticed a small
tear in his shirt and gave it a small rip. Another worker in the
factory added his bit, and before long there was quite a ribbon
dangling. Bill went on about his work and as he passed too near
a moving belt the shirt strip was sucked into the machinery. In
a split second the sleeve and Bill were in trouble. Alarms were
sounded, switches pulled, and trouble was avoided. The foreman,
however, aware of what had happened, summoned the men and related
this story:
"In my younger days I worked in a small factory. That's where I
first met Mike Havoc. He was big and witty, was always making
jokes, playing little pranks. Mike was a leader. Then there was
Pete Lumas. He always went along with Mike. He was a follower.
And then I remember Jake. He was a little older than the rest of
us -- quiet, harmless, apart. He ate his lunch by himself. He wore
the same patched trousers for three years straight. He never
entered into the games we played at noon, wrestling, horse
shoe and such. He was indifferent. "Jake was a natural target
for practical jokes. He might find a live frog in his dinner
pail, or a dead rodent in his hat. But he always took it in
good humor.
"Then one fall when things were slack, Mike took off a few days
to go hunting. Pete went along, of course. And they promised all
of us that if they got anything they'd bring us each a piece. So
we were all quite excited when we heard that they'd returned and
that Mike had got a really nice big buck. We heard more than that.
Pete could never keep anything to himself, and it leaked out that
they had a real whopper to play on Jake. Mike had cut up the
critter and had made a nice package for each of us. And, for
the laugh, for the joke of it, he had saved the ears, the tail,
the hoofs -- it would be so funny when Jake unwrapped them.
"Mike distributed his packages during the noon hour. We each
got a nice piece, opened it, and thanked him. The biggest
package of all he saved until last. It was for Jake. Pete
was all but bursting; and Mike looked very smug. Like always,
Jake sat by himself; he was on the far side of the big table.
Mike pushed the package over to where he could reach it; and
we all sat and waited. Jake was never one to say much.
You might never know that he was around for all the talking he
did. In three years he'd never said a hundred words. So we were
all quite hypnotized with what happened next. "He took the
package firmly in his grip and rose slowly to his feet.
He smiled broadly at Mike -- and it was then we noticed that
his eyes were glistening. His adam's apple bobbed up and down
for a moment and then he got control of himself.
"I knew you wouldn't forget me," he said gratefully;
"I knew you'd come through! You're big and you're playful,
but I knew all along that you had a good heart." He swallowed
again, and then took in the rest of us.
"I know I haven't seemed too chummy with you men; but I
never meant to be rude. You see, I've got nine kids at
home--and a wife that's been an invalid--bedfast now for
four years. She ain't ever going to get any better. And
sometimes when she's real bad off, I have to sit up all
night to take care of her. And most of my wages have had
to go for doctors and medicine. The kids do all they can
to help out, but at times it's been hard to keep food in
their mouths. Maybe you think it's funny that I go off by
myself to eat my dinner. Well, I guess I've been a little
ashamed, because I don't always have anything between my
sandwich. Or like today -- maybe there's only a raw turnip
in my pail. But I want you to know that this meat really
means a lot to me. Maybe more than to anybody here because
tonight my kids," he wiped the moisture from his eyes with
the back of his hand, "...tonight my kids will have a
really..." He tugged at the string.
"We'd been watching Jake so intently we hadn't paid much
notice to Mike and Pete. But we all noticed them now,
because they both dove at once to try to grab the package.
But they were too late. Jake had broken the wrapper and
was already surveying his present. He examined each hoof,
each ear, and then he held up the tail. It wiggled limply.
It should have been so funny, but nobody laughed -- nobody
at all. But the hardest part was when Jake looked up and
tried to smile."
This was where the foreman left the story and the men.
He didn't need to say anymore; but it was gratifying to
notice that as each man ate his lunch that day, he shared
part with Bill Andrews and one fellow even offered him
his shirt.
--Author Unknown
I should start an exercise program.
Not Wanting to harm this old body,
I've devised the following:
Monday
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper
Tuesday
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head
Wednesday
Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Run around in circles
Thursday
Advise the President on how to run the country Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire
Friday
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge
Saturday
Pick up the pieces!!
Sunday
Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Uplift my hands in praise
Hug someone and encourage them.
Whew! What a workout!
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