The Three Gifts
Quote from Forum Archives on December 22, 1999, 1:37 pmPosted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
The Three GiftsThree sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back
together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly
mother.The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom
enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I
sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took
elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama
just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in
only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.""Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of
the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!""Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to
know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."----
Thanksgiving Turkey
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive
me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family.
Would you take it and assuage my guilt?""Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the
one from whom you stole it.""I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your
family."Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he
walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his Thanksgiving
turkey.
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back
together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly
mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom
enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I
sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took
elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama
just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in
only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of
the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to
know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
----
Thanksgiving Turkey
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive
me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family.
Would you take it and assuage my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the
one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your
family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he
walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his Thanksgiving
turkey.