Quote from Forum Archives on July 19, 2002, 9:49 pm

Posted by: jdiaz <jdiaz@...>

This was a place she knew well. She came here often to pray, to reflect and repent, and sometimes simply to enjoy a quiet moment with God. This picnic bench, next to her favorite lake, had become her refuge, and today that was what she needed, a refuge. She sat with a heavy heart, needing to sense the presence of God, but feeling all alone. The past month had been filled with trials and she found herself feeling empty, and defeated. She opened her bible to her favorite Psalms, the ones that always seemed to soothe her. Today the words were empty. "Jesus, where are You?", she asked silently.   She looked out at the lake, still and quiet, and noted how perfectly it reflected the trees and the sky. "If I could be that still, I could reflect God that perfectly," she thought to herself. But today there was no stillness. No peace. She sat quietly for a moment longer, then heard footsteps coming in her direction. She turned to see a man walking toward her.   He smiled and said "hello." "Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?" he asked.   She shrugged her shoulders, not wanting company, but not wanting to appear rude. "Sure."   They sat together for a few moments, saying nothing. She didn't really care if they talked and she was sure that her apathy showed. In the distance, sea gulls called out to one another, and ducks could be seen and heard splashing about in the lake, enjoying the sunshine and the unusual absence of boats and jet-skis. How she loved it here.   Suddenly remembering her visitor, she turned to look at him. He too had been looking out over the lake. Sensing her gaze on him, he turned and looked at her. He said nothing, only smiled. For a moment, she saw a flash of recognition in his eyes, as though this man knew her. She passed it off as a by-product of her emotions and turned her focus back to the serenity of the lake.   "It's very quiet out here," the man said.   "Yes. It's nice, isn't it?" she replied, hoping he would get the hint. He didn't.   "You're very quiet."   "Yes," she sighed. "It's nice, isn't it?" Again, her attempted point missed its mark.   "Actually, it wasn't what I was hoping for."   She looked at him again, this time visibly irritated. She was ready to tell him that there were plenty of other places to sit and enjoy the view if this wasn't meeting his expectations. But his soft statement settled her.   "I'm sorry," she replied, genuinely. "I'm just not in the mood for conversation, today."   "Yes you are," he said in a quiet voice, still looking out at the water.   She turned to him, feeling angry now with him and his intrusion into her life. "What do mean 'yes you are'?" she snapped, sure that the tone of her voice left no question as to her lack of appreciation for this man's presence.   "You have a lot running through your mind, a lot of questions. Interesting questions about things like how defeated you've felt lately." His response was specific enough to ease her anger and get her attention.   "How do you know that?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.   He smiled, and again she saw a flash of recognition. "Because, you've been talking to me all afternoon."   She looked at him with disbelief, ready to get up and leave this man and this strange conversation sitting at the picnic table all by themselves. But something in his eyes caught her attention and it seemed as though a veil were being lifted. This man suddenly looked different, and there was a holy presence about him that was inescapable.   "Jesus?" she thought to herself. But what a crazy thought. She didn't dare say it out loud.   His smile broadened and He simply took her hands in His and looked at her.   Eyes as wide as saucers, she put her hand to her mouth. She then began to smile as a feeling of elation swept over her, and without thinking about what she was doing, she reached out and embraced Him. He laughed warmly and returned the spontaneous hug. Then a hundred thoughts began to run through her mind; sins that had never been confessed, mistakes she had made, terrible things she had said and done. All at once she felt so unworthy and so unclean in the presence of such complete purity, and she pulled away from Him. Knowing what she was thinking about, He took hold of her hands again. He looked at her with love and compassion and spoke words that she had read dozens of times: "It is finished." Emotions of every kind overwhelmed her as this time He embraced her.   They spent the afternoon walking along the shore, talking. She did have a lot of questions. Some He answered, some He didn't. They walked passed several families along the way, and she noticed on more than on occasion, that children looked at Him as though they knew who He was. She found this odd, and told Him so.   "It is not unusual for children to see the truth of who I am. Their innocence and purity allow their eyes to be open to the things that adults often miss." As if to prove His point, a Frisbee suddenly landed at their feet. Jesus picked it up and handed it back to the father who had been playing with his son and daughter.   "Thanks, man," was the only response He received from the dad. But the kids looked at Him and absolutely beamed with joy. The little girl even giggled in delight.   "How does that happen?" she asked, more to herself than to Him. "How is it that we all start out so simple an innocent and end up so hard and so blind?"   Jesus looked at her. His eyes danced with a loving sadness as He smiled and replied, "Like all kids, you don't listen to your Father."   She knew what He meant. "No, we don't, do we?" She said quietly. "There's so much in my life that I wish I could get back, just so that I could do that very thing." She sighed, "...listen to my Father."   "What's done is done. And it's been forgiven." He took her hand to stop her from walking, and turned her to look at Him. "Your mistakes are as far from you as the East is from the West. Remember." It was more of a statement then a question, and His quiet authority left no room for discussion.   She suddenly felt frustrated at the simplicity of His answers as thoughts of the past few months of her life ran through her head. "What do I do when God doesn't say anything at all?" she asked insistently.   His response infuriated her. "You wait." was all He said.   "Wait!?" she almost shouted her reply. "How can You say that?? You have no idea...." She sank to the ground and left the sentence unfinished. She was angry and confused, and looked up at Him, silently asking for help. He knelt down on His knees beside her and she imagined this was what He must have looked like praying in the garden of Gethsemene. "It is you who has no idea. No idea of what your Father has planned for you." Though His voice held no hint of malice or anger, His tone revealed frustration. Probably the same frustration that He had felt with His disciples so long ago. Still angry, she got up and walked away from Him, moving toward the shore, where she stood looking across the lake. She heard Him sigh, then heard His footsteps as He walked to stand next to her. In an instant, His presence softened her.   "You're right," she said, almost in a whisper. "I have no idea."   She turned to Him as tears welled in her eyes. "I have no idea what God wants from me. I have no idea what to do with these times of my life." She sank to her knees in the sand again and, burying her face in her hands, began to cry. He sat down and put His arm around her, knowing no words would comfort her just now. When she was able to compose herself, she asked Him, "What does God want?" He leaned over and whispered to her, "He wants you to trust Him and follow Him. That's all."   The midday sun was shining down through the trees, as a slight breeze blew across the water. In the sill of the afternoon, sitting on the shore with her Savior, she gave a quiet reply, "I don't think I can."   Suddenly He stood and she was sure she had angered Him. But when she looked up, He was reaching out His hand to her. She noticed that He was standing in the water. No... He was standing on the water! As she watched Him, He took a few steps back, the water wasn't very deep, but still, He was on the water, showing no signs of sinking. In an instant, everything around them seemed to stop, and she looked around. The birds were silent, the family that had been close by, laughing and talking, was now gone. It was just the two of them. It seemed the world was holding its breath. She looked at Him again, standing there, hand outstretched. He spoke four simple words, and they resonated in her spirit. "Will you trust me?" He wanted her to walk out onto the water with Him!! She smiled wryly in an effort to ease the seriousness of the moment.   "You know, Peter did this too, but he still denied You and ran."   Jesus smiled and chuckled quietly. "Yes he did. But what memory of Me do you think gave him the strength to endure the circumstances he faced later in life?"   There was no way she could argue with that. Beside herself at the thought of what she about to do, she stood up and walked to the edge of the shore. His hand was close enough for her to take hold of before she had to take a true 'step of faith.' She took a deep breath and looked at Him. He had already changed her life forever, long before today's strange and glorious talk. She loved Him with all her heart and didn't want to disappoint Him by failing this test. Not surprisingly, He knew what she was thinking. "I have never been disappointed in you, or in any of My Father's children. Look at Me, and you can't fail."   With that, she took her first step.    ~ Author Unknown ~   Remember that you are loved! God loves you and so do I! Please visit www.hisloveextended.com  and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hisloveextended where we present a loving, saving and healing God to a lost and hurting world. It will bless you (that is my prayer) There are some great Christian resources as well! May God bless and His grace keep you! [Rev. Joe Diaz]

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