Thoughtful Message
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
John Powell, A professor at Loyola University in
Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of
Faith class named Tommy:
Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university
students file into the classroom for our first session
in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first
saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was
combing his long flaxen hair which hung six inches
below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever
seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just
coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it
isn't what's on your head but what's in it that
counts; but on that day I wasn't prepared and my
emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S"
for strange...very strange.
Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in
my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected
to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an
unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with
each other in relative peace for one semester,
although I admit he was for me, at times, a serious
pain in the back pew.
When Tommy came up at the end of the course to turn in
his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical tone,
"Do you think I'll ever find God?"
I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I
said very emphatically.
"Oh," he responded, "I thought that was the product
you were pushing."
I let him get five steps from the classroom door and
then called out, "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever
find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will
find you!"
He shrugged a little and left my class and my life. I
felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had
missed my clever line -- He will find you! At least I
thought it was clever.
Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly
grateful. Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy
had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out,
he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his
body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all
fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes
were bright and his voice was firm, for the first
time, I believe.
"Tommy, I've thought about you so often. I hear you
are sick," I blurted out.
"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs.
It's a matter of weeks."
"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.
"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied.
"What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?"
"Well, it could be worse."
"Like what?"
"Well, like being fifty and having no values or
ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze,
seducing women, and making money are the real
'biggies' in life."
I began to look through my mental file cabinet under
'S' where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as
though everybody I try to reject by
classification, God sends back into my life to educate
me.)
"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said,
"is something you said to me on the last day of
class."
(He remembered!)
He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever
find God and you said, 'No! which surprised me. Then
you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about
that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly
intense at that time.
(My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)
"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and
told me that it was malignant, that's when I
got serious about locating God. And when the
malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began
banging bloody fists against the bronze doors
of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact,
nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a
long time with great effort and with no success?
You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying.
And then you quit. Well, one day I woke up, and
instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over
that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be
there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really
care about God, about an after life, or anything like
that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing
something more profitable. I thought about you and
your class and I remembered something else you had
said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life
without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to
go through life and leave this world
without ever telling those you loved that you had
loved them.'"
"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was
reading the newspaper when I approached him."
"Dad."
"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper.
"Dad, I would like to talk with you."
"Well, talk."
"I mean, it's really important."
The newspaper came down three slow inches.
"What is it?"
"Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that."
Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious
satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy
flowing inside of him.
"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father
did two things I could never remember him ever doing
before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all
night, even though he had to go to work the next
morning. It felt so good to be close to my father,
to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say
that he loved me."
"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They
cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and
started saying real nice things to each other. We
shared the things we had been keeping secret for so
many years.
I was only sorry about one thing -- that I had waited
so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all
the people I had actually been close to."
"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He
didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I
was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon,
jump through. C'mon, I'll give You three days, three
weeks.' Apparently God does things in His own way and
at His own hour. But the important thing is that He
was there. He found me. You were right. He found me
even after I stopped looking for Him."
"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying
something very important and much more universal than
you realize. To me, at least,
you are saying that the surest way to find God is not
to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or
an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by
opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said
that. He said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in
love is living with God and God is living in him.'
"Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had
you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly)
you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into
my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what
you have just told me? If I told them the same thing
it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to
tell them."
"Ooh ..... I was ready for you, but I don't know if
I'm ready for your class."
"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give
me a call."
In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the
class, and that he wanted to do that for God and for
me. So we scheduled a date.
However, he never made it. He had another
appointment, far more important than the one with
me and my class. Of course, his life was not really
ended by his death, only changed. He made the great
step from faith into vision. He found a life far more
beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear
of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever
imagined.
Before he died, we talked one last time. "I'm not
going to make it to your class," he said.
"I know, Tom."
"Will you tell them for me? Will you . . . tell the
whole world for me?"
"I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."
So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read
this simple statement about love, thank you for taking
the time. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit,
verdant hills of heaven --- I told them,
Tommy, as best I could.
If this story means anything to you, please pass it on
to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not
enhanced for publicity purposes.
With thanks,
John Powell
Professor Loyola University in Chicago
You've got to ask yourself
"What are you going to do to get the things in life you want?"
between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.
Planning brings your future into the present
so you can do something about it now.
Somewhere there is a map of how it can be done.
All you need is a good plan,
and the courage to press on to your destination.
and a set of blueprints.
Your plan should provide the pattern for the actions you'll take.
Plan your steps, then implement your plan, then review your results.
Do this frequently and make the appropriate alterations to your plan,
and you'll develop the power that will bring you to success.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait".
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting.... for what?"
And He tenderly said, I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
You would have what you want--But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save.... (for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for Thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT."
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