Quote from Forum Archives on February 9, 2004, 9:50 am

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

 

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THE HOPE CHEST
with Virginia Knowles
Tidbit #26 on February 9, 2004
A Heart Full of Love
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The Hope Chest is a free email newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The writer is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, mother of nine children, and author of Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade, and The Real Life Home School Mom.

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Dear Hope Chest friends,

Consider this a bonus issue, tucked in just in time for Valentine’s Day! The next two issues will feature reviews of resources for parents and children, but for now, I’d like to focus on A Heart Full of Love. Most of these items are just a few paragraphs, so it won’t take you too long to read it!

• A Heart of Friendliness
• Our Big Red Valentine Heart
• The Joy of Cultivating Kindness
• Love Through Me by Amy Carmichael
• Beautiful (Little) Feet
• Beautiful
• Manners by Rachel Knowles
• Two Knowles in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

 

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A Heart of Friendliness
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One of the classic questions people ask about home schooling is, “What about socialization?” How will our children learn to get along with others? Well, the obvious reply is that home school families want their children to be properly socialized, which will not usually happen in the constant company of a peer group in a daily classroom setting. Nonetheless, we can’t just assume that our children will be automatically friendly just because we home school them, nor should we discount the importance of this! If we are teaching our children from a Christian perspective, they are ambassadors for the Lord Jesus Christ, the church,
their own families, and the home schooling movement at large. If they fail at basic friendliness, this reflects poorly upon all that they represent.

My family is blessed to be surrounded with some really friendly folks in our church and home school community. Most of the young people that we hang around with enjoy meeting people, making newcomers feel welcome, playing with children of all ages and ethnicities, or chatting it up with middle aged mommies. It’s been a shock to me in the past several months
to meet some young people that AREN’T like this, so I guess I take friendliness for granted! I’ve also heard from other home school moms who are discouraged because they and/or their children have unsuccessfully tried to make friends in a support group.

Here are several marks of friendliness that I love to see in children and adults:

• Pay attention to someone who is new or lonely in the room.
• Greet others with enthusiasm or at least respond when others greet them.
• Carry on an interesting conversation, which includes asking questions and listening.
• Draw others in, without sticking to cliques or being prejudiced.
• Use eye contact and appropriate body language to welcome others.
• Refrain from gossip, rude teasing, and other idle chatter.
• Persevere and forgive when the friendship hits a bump.
• Serve others by opening doors, helping a child, carrying things, etc.

How can you encourage this in your children?

• Set the example. Even if you don’t have an “outgoing” personality, you can learn to be a “There you are!” person. Check yourself against the list above. How are you doing? Remember that you are an ambassador!
• Remind your children to treat others like they want to be treated.
• Friendliness starts at home. How should we treat our brothers and sisters? I love it when my children compliment each other, read to each other, and make things for one another. This will overflow to others! You can also enhance friendliness by showing abundant affection to your children. Call them sweet names. Tell them how much you will ALWAYS love
  them, no matter what. Show them how much you enjoy being with them. Please be sure to read the section called “Our Big Red Valentine Heart” for a practical way to promote family affection.
• Make it a point to coach your children about friendliness, not only when you see a lack or fault, but also before you go to a meeting or other public place. Role play what they will do when they see a newcomer or when someone greets them. Even "shy" young children can learn to come out from behind mama’s skirts to say hello. Talk about a few conversation starters that they can use when talking with someone. “Do you have any brothers or sisters? What are your hobbies? How did you like that book?”
• Involve your children in hospitality and outreach. Host a party for neighbor children. Go visit a nursing home. Help with a special project at church. Make your house the place to be in the neighborhood. It’s easy for you to oversee your child’s “socialization” if the neighbor kids are hanging out at YOUR house! We set up a table and chairs in our garage so
  children and their friends can play games, do crafts, listen to music or just sit around and chat. And they do!
• Intervene as necessary. If your child has gotten off to a rough start with friendship, persevere with him! Arrange play dates, invite other families (or children) to participate in your family activities, and help your child work through the “I don’t ever want to see her again!” times. When one of my children was younger, she yearned for a really good friend. I looked through our home school support group directory and found a few families with children about the same age and genders as my older ones. We’ve all been great friends for several years. Later, we even started a club that we called “Rubies and Roses” for moms and daughters to fellowship each month. I also appreciate the times when other parents talk to me about what I can do to improve my children’s friendship factor. I want to hear if my child is excluding someone, or if there is some other conflict that hasn’t been solved already.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject, because I’d like to turn these rough thoughts into a full article for a print magazine.

 

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Our Big Red Valentine Heart
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Every February we hang our Big Red Valentine Heart, which I made several years ago out of a large piece of felt edged with white lace. It is about 26” by 23”, with ten 4 ½“ by 4” felt pockets. (If I ever make a new one, I’ll make the pockets bigger and add an extra one for baby Ben!) For labels, I used the computer to make name cards which stick up out of the pockets. The children have a lot of fun making valentines and putting in small gifts like bite sized candies. I usually put in candy or small presents, too. This is one way to add a little extra affection to our family life! (Not that we need the sweets, though, since Rachel, Naomi and Ben all have birthdays the week before Valentine’s Day!)

 

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The Joy of Cultivating Kindness
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The ladies at our church (http://www.metrolife.org) just started a four week Sunday evening teaching series on “The Joy of Cultivating Kindness.” The topics address four hindrances to kindness: critical judgment, bitterness, self-righteousness and anger. Sheree Phillips started out the series last night. Here are two quotes from her notes:

Kindness: “That temper or disposition which delights in contributing to the happiness of others, which is exercised cheerfully in gratifying their wishes, supplying their wants and alleviating their distresses.” Webster’s 1828 Dictionary

“When to judge a person is against the inclincation of persons, they will be very cautious in doing it, and will go no further in it than evidence obliges them, and will think the best that the nature of the case will admit, and will put the best possible construction on the words and actions of others. And when they are obliged, against their inclination, to think evil of another, it will be no pleasure to declare it.” Jonathan Edwards in Charity and Its Fruits.

 

Good stuff for real life! May God change our hearts and help us cultivate kindness!

 

(I was really encouraged to see Sheree's teenage daughter Janelle ministering alongside her mom last night.  Janelle has been such an example of friendliness to our family.  You'll hear more about the Phillips family in the next Hope Chest issue, when I review Benny and Sheree's book Raising Kids Who Hunger for God.)

 

 

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Love Through Me by Amy Carmichael
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"Love Through Me"
by Amy Carmichael

from the book Toward Jerusalem

Love through me, Love of God,
Make me like Thy clear air
Through which unhindered, colours pass
As though it were not there.

Powers of the love of God,
Depths of the heart Divine,
O Love that faileth not, break forth,
And flood this world of mine.

Amy Carmichael (1867-1951) was an Irish missionary to India. She founded the Dohnavur Fellowship, dedicated to rescuing young girls from slavery as temple prostitutes. “Ama”, as she was affectionately called, wrote several volumes of poetry in support of her mission work.

 

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Beautiful (Little) Feet
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Good news! My little Micah, who is 4 ½, told us last week that he wanted to be a Christian and believe in Jesus. If you know Micah, he is very intent and earnest about whatever he does. He’s a pretty deep thinker! Thad and I talked to him at length, and then Thad prayed with him. Micah is excited about being a Christian and eager about giving away Gospels of John with his  brother and sisters.  They gave out a whole bunch last week on our street and at the grocery outlet store.  I confess that I was blushing as they buttonholed nearly every customer that passed us. This was THEIR idea, and while I may want to coach them in being more discrete, I certainly don’t want to quench their boldness!

I asked Micah, “Why do you want to do this?” His instant reply, “Because I’m a Christian!” But of course! Since the word "Christian" means one who follows in the way of Christ, who commanded us to "go ye therefore and spread the gospel," then evangelism should be a way of life for us!  I believe that home school parents should be training their children to share the good news, even from a very early age. It may not seem academic, but can you think of anything more important?

But now, about the feet…. Andrew, Micah and Naomi wanted me to tie their shoes so they could walk down the street and give out Gospels. As I laced up their little sneakers, I recalled Ephesians 6:15, which says  that part of our spiritual armor is having our “…feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.” (KJV) Yes, they were literally getting their feet shod (shoed) in preparation to go spread the Gospel! Isaiah 52:7 has another encouragement about feet and good news: “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, "Your God reigns." (ESV) They may be little feet, they may be inexperienced feet, but they sure are beautiful feet!

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Beautiful
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Beautiful faces are they that wear
The light of a pleasant spirit there;
Beautiful hands are they that do
Deeds that are noble, good and true;
Beautiful feet are they that go
Swiftly to lighten another’s woe.

This poem comes from McGuffey’s Second Reader. I found it in the Book of Virtues.

 

 

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Manners

by Rachel Knowles

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[Virginia's note: Rachel wrote this when she was about eight years old.   She turned 13 last week, but we still get a chuckle out of her perky writing style in this piece on "Manners"!]

Introducing Manners: I learned that when you have a friend, and you want to introduce him (of her) to an adult, you say the adult's name first. Say Mr., Mrs., or Miss. (It's not polite to say an adult's first name.)

Table Manners: Don't say, "Pass the bread," or lean over the table because you might spill somebody's water.  Don't say, "Give me my food!" because then your parents might give you your food last of all.  If you have a baby brother or sister and he (or she) keeps crying and you're chewing your food and you say, "SHUT UP!" with your mouth full of food - I don't call that being very polite. Do you?

Greeting Manners: When you're greeting someone at your door, you don't say "Hi" glumly chewing potato chips. Whoa! Now that's not the right thing to do. Don't you think so, too? The right thing to say is, "Hello! Come right in!" Very cheerfully. Ahhhh! Now doesn't that sound better? When you say that, you'll be cheerful afterwards.

Meeting Manners: When you meet someone you don't shout "HI! WHAT DO YOU INSIST TO PLAY?!" Now woeee! You just met the person. Ask he (or she) what they want to play. Remember that!

Sleeping Manners: Now it comes to sleeping manners. If you snore, try not to do that. My sister says I move around a lot, and she says she never wants to sleep with me again. She isn't my roommate, but my mom said I could sleep in her room.

Car Manners: Lets say you live in Florida, like me, and you're going to Maryland, like I do with my family once a year, and you have a big family, like me, and everyone is chattering, and one person is asking, "Are we there yet?" Another person is saying, "I'm hungry". Another person is saying, "I have to go to the bathroom." Save your questions and saying for later. Do you know how tired your mom and dad will be?! Exhausted. Do you get it? Exhausted.”

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Two Knowles in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
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The Old Schoolhouse Magazine has asked permission to publish my daughter Mary’s interview of The King’s College president Dr. Stan Oakes in their summer issue’s “Finishing the Race“ column. Coincidentally, this is the same issue in which my article “Living and Learning in the Sovereign Hand of God” will appear! TOS is a great magazine -- a glossy format jam packed
with lots of notable writers like Diana Waring, Christine Field and Ken Ham. You can check it out at http://www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com or find it at stores like Barnes & Noble.

 

 

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Well, that’s it for our Valentine’s bonus issue!  Go love someone!

 

Right now, I'm going out to see the chalk drawings that my littles ones drew on the sidewalk!

In His Sovereign Grace,
Virginia Knowles
www.thehopechest.net