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UPDATE -- ROLLER COASTER RIDE ON NICOLE GRACE
#1 · June 19, 2004, 4:58 am
Posted by: lifeunlimited <lifeunlimited@...>
Friends:
We do pray that you don't get overburdened with so many letters concerning our grandbaby, Nicole Grace, but things are happening so rapidly right now that we really feel an urgency in keeping you and our other prayer warriors informed. We know for certainty that there are literally thousands of intercessors praying for this little jewel and her parents (and us, too), and we want to be sure everyone knows the current status as quickly as possible.
We now have a few pictures of Nicole Grace and have posted them in the "family" album at our photo website. You can access them by going to http://community.webshots.com/user/01lum.
Today's report is not as good as yesterday's. Shortly after we were able to give a good report of improvement on her liver condition, we received a note this morning from Jim indicating the doctors have said she's in the early stages of heart failure.
Friday morning at 2:30 doctors informed Jim and Deanna at the Ronald McDonald House that Nicole had to be put back on the ventilator. AT 6:00 am they called to say "overall, she is doing worse". This all happened in St. Louis at the same time Jo Ann and I were getting ready for dental appointments with Anya, our "prayer warrior" dentist. It's difficult to "sequence" the following information, so hopefully you can follow it.
1. Between Jo Ann's dental work and mine, Anya asked about Nicole. We told her about the worsening condition and the conclusions regarding the Mosaic Chromosome 18 report. She immediately shut the office operations down, brought her staff together, and prayed over us and anointed us, as described below. The time of that prayer session here took place about an hour following the 6:00 am report Jim and Deanna had received. We thought that was very significant.
2. We got home from the dental office around 9:30, and I felt compelled to write Jim and Deanna about what had happened.
3. Jim sent the following letter at around 11:00 am Friday (which was 7:00 pm here, while we were still at the dentist), although we didn't receive it for some reason until this morning (Saturday).
4. At the same time Jim sent this letter, he received mine describing the events in the dentist office, and then responded with a second letter that I've also included.
SO . . . .
With that in mind, we hope these notes will bless you. I'll bet you wish you had a dentist like we have!
-------------------------
Jim's Update Friday morning:
Doctors have just told me that Nicole is in the beginning stages of heart failure. It is being medically controlled at this moment, but they don't know how long that will last. Deanna and I may, very soon, be asked to make a decision re: surgery. However, at this point, her heart could not tolerate that.
She is very weak. While I've been sitting here talking to the doctor, a nurse has stuck her several times trying to get yet another IV going - and she hasn't so much as squeaked. (part of that is medication that has her sedated. As of 3:00 pm she has been awake and squirming - hearing the kids voices got her attention.)
Dad and Mom T - they are not yet saying, "she has 72 hours, rush home." They are saying she has gone downhill much faster than anticipated. In the words of the dr., "We really thought this would be gradual. we promised you gradual; that is not what is happening." The doc also said, "if they'll be totally devastated if they don't make it home to see her before she dies, then tell them to go ahead and come now".
We don't know what to tell you. (We walked this balancing act last year about this time and guessed right. but this time, I don't know what to tell you.) Again, like with Grandpa, you could come tomorrow and have to leave again before she dies, which would make returning for the funeral very unlikely for you. But if you wait in hopes to do both, we can't tell you when to do that. It's too unknown. At the moment we've told them to do whatever they can to keep her alive at least until you get here or until her condition improves, but there is no guarantee of that, of course.
Have to go. Michael and JoyLinn are here; will add more later or send as is. not sure.
3pm - Most of the changes as of 3 pm are talked about above. It was good to see Michael and JoyLinn and they both, in their own way, seem to understand what is happening. JoyLinn, in particular, seemed to enjoy watching Nicole squirm around and open her eyes, etc. Nicole seemed to enjoy JoyLinn also; she responded to her voice and seemed to try to find her with her eyes. Michael colored his little sister a picture, which I hung on the side of her crib or bed or whatever these things are called.
Thank you, Christian and Jenny, for bringing them down.
Guess that's it for now - the rollercoaster continues. It's so strange to desperately want to get off this ride -- but yet dreading the end at the same time.
WWJ,
Jim and Deanna
P.S. Please pray specifically for me (Jim.) I'm sleeping surprisingly well - but am still exhausted. My entire body hurts all over. I'll save you the rest of the symptoms, but bottom line: I'm tired and run down. I CAN NOT GET SICK OR ELSE I WILL NOT BE ALLOWED INTO THE NICU. PRAY THAT I STAY HEALTHY FOR MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER.
She is very weak. While I've been sitting here talking to the doctor, a nurse has stuck her several times trying to get yet another IV going - and she hasn't so much as squeaked. (part of that is medication that has her sedated. As of 3:00 pm she has been awake and squirming - hearing the kids voices got her attention.)
Dad and Mom T - they are not yet saying, "she has 72 hours, rush home." They are saying she has gone downhill much faster than anticipated. In the words of the dr., "We really thought this would be gradual. we promised you gradual; that is not what is happening." The doc also said, "if they'll be totally devastated if they don't make it home to see her before she dies, then tell them to go ahead and come now".
We don't know what to tell you. (We walked this balancing act last year about this time and guessed right. but this time, I don't know what to tell you.) Again, like with Grandpa, you could come tomorrow and have to leave again before she dies, which would make returning for the funeral very unlikely for you. But if you wait in hopes to do both, we can't tell you when to do that. It's too unknown. At the moment we've told them to do whatever they can to keep her alive at least until you get here or until her condition improves, but there is no guarantee of that, of course.
Have to go. Michael and JoyLinn are here; will add more later or send as is. not sure.
3pm - Most of the changes as of 3 pm are talked about above. It was good to see Michael and JoyLinn and they both, in their own way, seem to understand what is happening. JoyLinn, in particular, seemed to enjoy watching Nicole squirm around and open her eyes, etc. Nicole seemed to enjoy JoyLinn also; she responded to her voice and seemed to try to find her with her eyes. Michael colored his little sister a picture, which I hung on the side of her crib or bed or whatever these things are called.
Thank you, Christian and Jenny, for bringing them down.
Guess that's it for now - the rollercoaster continues. It's so strange to desperately want to get off this ride -- but yet dreading the end at the same time.
WWJ,
Jim and Deanna
P.S. Please pray specifically for me (Jim.) I'm sleeping surprisingly well - but am still exhausted. My entire body hurts all over. I'll save you the rest of the symptoms, but bottom line: I'm tired and run down. I CAN NOT GET SICK OR ELSE I WILL NOT BE ALLOWED INTO THE NICU. PRAY THAT I STAY HEALTHY FOR MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER.
--------------------------------------
My letter to Jim:
Hi:
Just got home from the dentist (it's 9:30 pm here) and a very interesting experience, intending to write to you about what happened. Your note and the timing of your calls from the doctor were also interesting.
Following Mother's dental work and before mine, our translator, Anatoly, explained the situation to Anya when she asked about Nicole. As soon as he began describing the "Mosaic" and the "chromosome 18" thing, she sat down on the couch, nodded her head, and basically explained back to him exactly what the situation was and how it worked. Before he could even tell her, she said "Mozaheeka treetsyet e kromazomnatee voseemnatzet" (or something similar) which basically says "Mosaic, three chromosome eighteen cells". She knew exactly what was going on.
Then she shared the story of her little girl who turned three the day Nicole was born, and how she refused to embrace the diagnosis the doctors had given her. (She said the same thing Luda had said to Mother a couple of days ago ---- that doctors can't see inside a body like God can, so don't know for certain what's really happening.) Within minutes, Anya's baby was taken from her and she didn't see her for 24 days. The baby quickly went into a deep coma. The doctors told her that if she remained in the coma more than seven days, she would either die or be a vegetable all her life.
Anya poured her mother-heart out to God, refusing to give in to the report, refusing to give up on her baby. The baby was in a coma for 14 days, all the while Anya, her family, and about half the church praying for her. On the fifteenth day, she came out of her coma, crying, and immediately began to improve. Today she is healthy and with virtually no physical or mental deficiencies.
Like you, we've really come to peace with what looks like is inevitable for Nicole, but . . . .
But, as we heard Anya's testimony, we felt like God was telling us to take another look, and to not accept the apparent so quickly. We felt like we were witnessing the tenacious faith of a woman like the Widow of Nain, who refused to be satisfied until God gave her specifically what she asked, even though her son was already dead. Though a quiet woman, Anya spoke with a conviction and determination that came not from "name it and claim it" faith, but from a faith tried and tested by her
knowledge of God and her desperate experience with Him over her little girl, and also then her own subsequent deteriorating health that resulted in the loss of part of one lung. Basically, Anya prayed a "I refuse to give up, and I will not let go" faith like Jacob when he wrestled with God.
Then she got up, went into their little kitchen, got a small saucer of cooking oil (no anointing oil available), called all her staff into the waiting room with us, left at least one patient in the chair, shut the whole office operation down, and prayed for Nicole, you two, and the two of us with a genuine passion, seasoned conviction, and determined
authority we've witnessed only a few times. She prayed many things, much of which we can't remember. But I do know she prayed that God would confound the diagnosis, amaze the doctors, and heal and restore Nicole to a full and healthy life and lifetime. She prayed against any and all spiritual forces opposed to God' plan, and prayed that you two and us two would not confess things humanly inevitable but instead would confess only what was possible at the hand of God.
Afterward, she anointed the two of us with oil on your behalf and on Nicole's behalf, anointed our hands by which we could pass on that act in the future.
This all took place here at what would have been shortly after 7:00 am your time.
As you can imagine, it was a pretty intense time. We came away with several conclusions:
+ Nobody cares more and is praying harder for us than Anya, her staff, and her church.
+ While we are looking at what is logical and probable from a human viewpoint, we must look longer and harder at the adequacy of God to do a complete reversal.
+ We must not allow ourselves to assume the inevitable, but continue strong in faith and confidence that God is more than able to bring Nicole back from the brink of death.
+ We all know God is able, but are not so convinced that He is willing. I came out thinking that God is also willing. Because He knows what is best overall for all involved, and because He has an overriding plan that is beyond our view, we sometimes forget that His willingness is built on several factors ---- our desires, our needs, His high purposes, and His glory. It's not an either/or, but rather an all inclusive. So, we can know that He is indeed both able, willing, and faithful, within the paramaters of our ultimate needs, His ultimate purposes, and His absolute glory.
+ God's sovereign will is unchangeable, but His compassion to hear and answer is, also.
We don't pretend to know what all this means, or if it will make any difference. All we know is that we've been reminded of how easy it is to accept logical voices as being the final word when only the Father has the final word, and we've been reminded of how many passionate people around the world are not satisfied to accept the doctor's
prognosis on Nicole . . . . at least for now, and how this may be a marathon race rather than a dash, and we must not get spiritually winded or exhausted before the race is over. The race must be finished at all cost, and it needs to be run with the full intention of winning.
Then, if we don't cross the line first, we can still finish, satisfied that we gave it all we had. If Nicole does not recover, we can accept it knowing our faith and our passion to cry out to God never waned or faltered.
So, for whatever that's worth, we hope it encourages you. We think this will be especially important for the two of you, no matter the outcome. So, keep asking, keep trusting, keep believing with tenacious, courageous, beligerent faith until the final answer comes, one way or another. Then you'll know you can be satisfied with your pleas and content with the end result.
We hope to take pictures of Anya and the staff Monday, and also hopefully get one of the little girl. We especially want you to see these three women dentists and their staff, all of whom are apparently deep Christians. She commented today that, for some reason God had arranged our meeting. When we told her that we had actually tried to get appointments with her last Fall but couldn't do anything until now, tears welled up in her eyes, and she just smiled and softly clapped her hands together.
Well, guess that's it. Just felt we needed to share our experience with you, hoping that it will encourage you to keep asking and trusting with, like Abraham, with "hope against all hope". If Nicole does not recover, we want it to be with all of us knowing no stone was left unturned, and no authoritative confident faith ever wavered, and no request went unasked.
Keep us posted. We love you.
Just got home from the dentist (it's 9:30 pm here) and a very interesting experience, intending to write to you about what happened. Your note and the timing of your calls from the doctor were also interesting.
Following Mother's dental work and before mine, our translator, Anatoly, explained the situation to Anya when she asked about Nicole. As soon as he began describing the "Mosaic" and the "chromosome 18" thing, she sat down on the couch, nodded her head, and basically explained back to him exactly what the situation was and how it worked. Before he could even tell her, she said "Mozaheeka treetsyet e kromazomnatee voseemnatzet" (or something similar) which basically says "Mosaic, three chromosome eighteen cells". She knew exactly what was going on.
Then she shared the story of her little girl who turned three the day Nicole was born, and how she refused to embrace the diagnosis the doctors had given her. (She said the same thing Luda had said to Mother a couple of days ago ---- that doctors can't see inside a body like God can, so don't know for certain what's really happening.) Within minutes, Anya's baby was taken from her and she didn't see her for 24 days. The baby quickly went into a deep coma. The doctors told her that if she remained in the coma more than seven days, she would either die or be a vegetable all her life.
Anya poured her mother-heart out to God, refusing to give in to the report, refusing to give up on her baby. The baby was in a coma for 14 days, all the while Anya, her family, and about half the church praying for her. On the fifteenth day, she came out of her coma, crying, and immediately began to improve. Today she is healthy and with virtually no physical or mental deficiencies.
Like you, we've really come to peace with what looks like is inevitable for Nicole, but . . . .
But, as we heard Anya's testimony, we felt like God was telling us to take another look, and to not accept the apparent so quickly. We felt like we were witnessing the tenacious faith of a woman like the Widow of Nain, who refused to be satisfied until God gave her specifically what she asked, even though her son was already dead. Though a quiet woman, Anya spoke with a conviction and determination that came not from "name it and claim it" faith, but from a faith tried and tested by her
knowledge of God and her desperate experience with Him over her little girl, and also then her own subsequent deteriorating health that resulted in the loss of part of one lung. Basically, Anya prayed a "I refuse to give up, and I will not let go" faith like Jacob when he wrestled with God.
Then she got up, went into their little kitchen, got a small saucer of cooking oil (no anointing oil available), called all her staff into the waiting room with us, left at least one patient in the chair, shut the whole office operation down, and prayed for Nicole, you two, and the two of us with a genuine passion, seasoned conviction, and determined
authority we've witnessed only a few times. She prayed many things, much of which we can't remember. But I do know she prayed that God would confound the diagnosis, amaze the doctors, and heal and restore Nicole to a full and healthy life and lifetime. She prayed against any and all spiritual forces opposed to God' plan, and prayed that you two and us two would not confess things humanly inevitable but instead would confess only what was possible at the hand of God.
Afterward, she anointed the two of us with oil on your behalf and on Nicole's behalf, anointed our hands by which we could pass on that act in the future.
This all took place here at what would have been shortly after 7:00 am your time.
As you can imagine, it was a pretty intense time. We came away with several conclusions:
+ Nobody cares more and is praying harder for us than Anya, her staff, and her church.
+ While we are looking at what is logical and probable from a human viewpoint, we must look longer and harder at the adequacy of God to do a complete reversal.
+ We must not allow ourselves to assume the inevitable, but continue strong in faith and confidence that God is more than able to bring Nicole back from the brink of death.
+ We all know God is able, but are not so convinced that He is willing. I came out thinking that God is also willing. Because He knows what is best overall for all involved, and because He has an overriding plan that is beyond our view, we sometimes forget that His willingness is built on several factors ---- our desires, our needs, His high purposes, and His glory. It's not an either/or, but rather an all inclusive. So, we can know that He is indeed both able, willing, and faithful, within the paramaters of our ultimate needs, His ultimate purposes, and His absolute glory.
+ God's sovereign will is unchangeable, but His compassion to hear and answer is, also.
We don't pretend to know what all this means, or if it will make any difference. All we know is that we've been reminded of how easy it is to accept logical voices as being the final word when only the Father has the final word, and we've been reminded of how many passionate people around the world are not satisfied to accept the doctor's
prognosis on Nicole . . . . at least for now, and how this may be a marathon race rather than a dash, and we must not get spiritually winded or exhausted before the race is over. The race must be finished at all cost, and it needs to be run with the full intention of winning.
Then, if we don't cross the line first, we can still finish, satisfied that we gave it all we had. If Nicole does not recover, we can accept it knowing our faith and our passion to cry out to God never waned or faltered.
So, for whatever that's worth, we hope it encourages you. We think this will be especially important for the two of you, no matter the outcome. So, keep asking, keep trusting, keep believing with tenacious, courageous, beligerent faith until the final answer comes, one way or another. Then you'll know you can be satisfied with your pleas and content with the end result.
We hope to take pictures of Anya and the staff Monday, and also hopefully get one of the little girl. We especially want you to see these three women dentists and their staff, all of whom are apparently deep Christians. She commented today that, for some reason God had arranged our meeting. When we told her that we had actually tried to get appointments with her last Fall but couldn't do anything until now, tears welled up in her eyes, and she just smiled and softly clapped her hands together.
Well, guess that's it. Just felt we needed to share our experience with you, hoping that it will encourage you to keep asking and trusting with, like Abraham, with "hope against all hope". If Nicole does not recover, we want it to be with all of us knowing no stone was left unturned, and no authoritative confident faith ever wavered, and no request went unasked.
Keep us posted. We love you.
Daddy and Mother
---------------------------
Jim's immediate Response to His "List":
Below is the e-mail I got from Bob and Jo Ann as I was sending out the last e-mail (titled 11 am.)
It is a powerful reminder. Jack Taylor said that he always assumed it was God's will to completely heal - until proven otherwise by death or a "word" from Him.
Perhaps I have been too quick to "accept the inevitable." I keep thinking about "Wild At Heart" also and the idea of a battle to fight and beauty to win. This is certainly a battle - and she is a beauty; it's time for me to "come through."
It's a crazy line to walk - because we truly do believe God can heal her. but feel like, emotionally, we must prepare for the worst if this is not His will.
However, as of this moment, I am not willing to give up quite so easily. Truth is what God says, not doctors, and we're going to keep praying for her complete healing until we hear from Him.. Until we hear Him say, "Come home, Nicole" or until we hear Him say, "Rise up, Nicole."
It is a powerful reminder. Jack Taylor said that he always assumed it was God's will to completely heal - until proven otherwise by death or a "word" from Him.
Perhaps I have been too quick to "accept the inevitable." I keep thinking about "Wild At Heart" also and the idea of a battle to fight and beauty to win. This is certainly a battle - and she is a beauty; it's time for me to "come through."
It's a crazy line to walk - because we truly do believe God can heal her. but feel like, emotionally, we must prepare for the worst if this is not His will.
However, as of this moment, I am not willing to give up quite so easily. Truth is what God says, not doctors, and we're going to keep praying for her complete healing until we hear from Him.. Until we hear Him say, "Come home, Nicole" or until we hear Him say, "Rise up, Nicole."
Keep praying with us. What an incredible journey. Bring on the ride.
------------------------
Back to Bob and Jo Ann:
In Conclusion, as you pray, ask God to give the two of us clarity and wisdom pertaining to our possible need to return to the States. As you recall, it was exactly a year ago that we went through this with my Father. He died on Father's Day last year. On that occasion we felt strongly urged to return home the last of May and had two wonderful weeks with him before he died. We don't sense such an urging right now, and are a bit confused as to what we should do. We are more restricted this year because of mission obligations and time limits than last year.
We're scheduled to participate in an international conference in Switzerland beginning July 1st and have non-transferable, non-refundable airline tickets. In addition, the Olympic Games in Greece are playing havoc with available seating and insane prices.
So, pray that God will keep us all sensitive to His leading. We need to know IF we should go, and if so, then WHEN and HOW.
Some people may read this chronicle and become angry because they think God is jerking our chain or keeping us in the dark. We don't believe that in the slightest. He is a God of order, a God of honor, and a God of action. God is both the God of direction and the God of details, so we are confident in Him. We just need to be certain we are hearing.
Thanks for your amazing prayer support.
Bob and Jo Ann
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