Quote from Forum Archives on February 8, 2003, 3:18 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

<>< WHAT IS A GRANDMOTHER? (or a grandfather) ><>

A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own.
She likes other peoples.

 

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

 

Grandmothers don't have to do anything except be there
when we come to see them.

 

They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run.

 

It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of
quarters for us.

 

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things
like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

 

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers
and also don't step on "cracks."

 

They don't say, "Hurry up."

 

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie
your shoes.

 

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

 

They can take their teeth and gums out.

 

Grandmothers don't have to be smart. They have to
answer questions.

 

You don't have television, because they are the only
grown ups who like to spend time with us.

 

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime
and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even
when we've acted bad.

 

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<>< A Deck Of Cards ><>

 

A young soldier was in his bunkhouse all alone one Sunday morning
over in Afghanistan. It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars,
and land mines for some reason hadn't made a noise. The young soldier
knew it was
Sunday, the holiest day of the week. As he was sitting there, he got
out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the
rest of the platoon?" The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay
behind and spend some time with the Lord." The sergeant said, "Looks
like you're going to play cards." The soldier said, "No sir, you see,
since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in
this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck
of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
"You see the Ace, Sergeant, it reminds that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
The Three represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Apostles: Mathew, Mark Luke, and John.
The Five is for the five virgins that were ten but only five of them
were glorified.
The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and
Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after working the six days.
The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and
their wives, in which God saved the eight people from the flood that
destroyed the earth for the first time.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He
cleansed ten but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses
on tablets made of stone.
The Jack is a reminder of Satan. One of God's first angels, but he got
kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker
of eternal hell.
The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one
for every day of the year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week, 52 weeks in a
year.
The four suits represents the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and
Winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards, there are exactly thirteen weeks in a
quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old
deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful
for."
The sergeant just stood there and after a minute, with tears in his
eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of
cards?"

 

T Texas Tyler

 

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<>< The Atheist Couple ><>

 

There was an atheist couple who had a child.

 

The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord.

 

One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child.

 

Then, the dad shot himself.

 

The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home.

 

The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church.

 

On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her.

 

The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?

 

" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

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