Working with Difficult People
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Straight to the Cross
COLUMN: Heavenly Connections
Working with Difficult People
by Tim Hall
The assignment Paul gave Titus would not be easy.
"Set in order the things that are lacking," Paul
had instructed him (Titus 1:5, New King James
Version). Making matters more complicated was the
general tendency of the island population. "One of
them, a prophet of their own, said, 'Cretans are
always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.' This
testimony is true" (Titus 1:12,13). Paul would not
mislead his coworker; his work among the Cretan
people would be challenging!
We can imagine how frustrated Titus must have at
times become. Old habits are hard to break. New
Christians would need time to change their
behaviors. In the meantime, great patience would
be required as Titus would witness dishonesty and
selfishness among people who should know better.
Paul's further instructions to "rebuke with all
authority" (Titus 2:15) might have been
interpreted as a green light to tear into these
hypocrites!
But Paul quickly added other counsel to temper
impatient church workers: "Remind them ... to
speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle,
showing all humility to all men" (Titus 3:1,2).
Peaceable? Gentle? Humble among people who needed
to be sharply rebuked? Paul, how can you expect us
to be so restrained among people who are notorious
for their laziness and lies?
Here's his answer: "For we ourselves were also
once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving
various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and
envy, hateful and hating one another" (Titus 3:3).
There was good reason for Paul to point to the
Christian worker's own sordid past. If we can
outgrow sinful habits, then these difficult
brethren can, too. But patience is needed. Be
patient, remembering that you were once like them.
Is this not where many of us go astray? We expect
so much of other people. That's fine to a point,
for God's word has great expectations. (Remember
Matthew 5:48? "Therefore you shall be perfect,
just as your Father in heaven is perfect.") But
sometimes we forget the path our spiritual growth
has taken. Our own path began at a very low point.
It had many twists and turns, many ups and downs.
But over time we have made progress. Given time
and encouragement, maybe these Cretan brethren can
progress, too.
John Bradford (1510-1555) once observed criminals
being taken to their execution. "But for the grace
of God there goes John Bradford," he reflected. He
was right. True, it takes more than God's grace to
change a life, but without God's grace none of us
would have opportunity to repent and reform. Take
divine grace out of the picture, and we are all
condemned transgressors.
Paul realized this truth better than most: "But by
the grace of God I am what I am" (1 Corinthians
15:10). When he wrote those words, Paul was a
model of Christian discipleship. But it had not
always been so. He needed time, patience and
encouragement. Sharp rebuke without loving
exhortation will cause young disciples to wilt.
It's worth repeating: Sharp rebuke without loving
exhortation will cause young disciples to wilt.
The Cretans have many relatives living yet today.
The patience of Christian workers can be pressed
to the limits by such brethren. But may we never
forget that "we ourselves were also once foolish,
disobedient, deceived." Let us do unto others as
we would have the Lord do unto us!
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