Quote from Forum Archives on January 12, 1999, 7:00 am

Posted by: tz8cy5 <tz8cy5@...>

The only jokes you receive are through email

At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.

Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade
your RAM is a moral dilemma

Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery,
and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room

In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure
The Salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
You are always late to meetings
You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
You are next in line on death row in a French Prison and you find that
the guillotine is not working properly, so you offer to fix it.

You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday
You forget to get a haircut (for 6 months!)
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines
You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel
You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to
see how they do the special effects

You have Dilbert comics displayed everywhere in your work area
You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
You have more friends on the INTERNET than in real life
You have never backed up your hard drive
You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since
you got married.

You have used coat hangars and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts

You know what http:// stands for
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
You see a good design and still have to change it
You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring
You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it
You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory
You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't
get enough sleep

You wear black socks with tennis shoes (or vice versa)
You window shop at Radio Shack
You're in the back-seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the
moon, and your trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite

Your checkbook always balances
Your laptop computer costs more than your car
Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work
Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz pentium
You've already calculated how much you make per second
You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio
Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine, 2. Fat , 3. Sugar, and
4. Chocolate