From Fig Leaves To Kings Robe
FROM FIG LEAVES TO KING’S ROBE
You may have heard the phrase “from rags to riches”. Well materially, I am far from it, but spiritually speaking it fits my life story very well. Thus, I chose to title the following testimony “From Fig Leaves to King’s Robe”.
Korea, also known as the land of the morning calm, was the place where I was born. During that time, Korea was under Japanese Imperialist regime. Like most Koreans who grew up under peaceful Confucius and Buddist teachings, my parents were not prepared to cope with the hostile situation. Later I was told that there were shortages of everything when I was born, and I was but the fourth of my parents’ eight children.
The house in which I was born had been newly built. One of my father’s cousins was a Christian, the wife of a deacon, and was concerned for my father’s soul. When she died, she had left a substantial amount of money to my father with only one condition. This condition was that the money was to be used to build my father’s house right in front of the country church. Of course, she made that arrangement so that my parents could be exposed to Christianity.
That started my early association with the church of God. I remember seeing some old faded photos where I was a ring bearer for a few church weddings. Life around the church must have been a happy one until my father had a dispute with the church pastor regarding the property line. My father became very bitter about the unfair dealings by the pastor. According to my mother, my father used to come home drunk and made big scenes in front of the church to disrupt the church meetings. He even forbade my mother from attending any church since that time.
Then World War II ended, and the Communists took over North Korea including the small town where I grew up. We left just about everything to escape the Communists. After arriving in South Korea, my parents finally chose to settle down in Inchon, a sea port much bigger than the town we left.
Like many other Korean parents, my parents were also determined to educate their children through college. They knew that Korea was overrun by the Japanese because its people had failed to educate themselves and catch up with modernization. So they were ready to sacrifice for their children’s education.
Being forbidden to attend church, my mother resorted to Shaman’s help for any difficult situations like the times when we became sick. I still remember the boiled pig head on the table and the bamboo leaves shaking in the hands of the Shaman. The more she shook the bamboo leaves, the more convinced we were that she had contact with the spirits.
Then the Korean War broke out which brought horrendous misery to so many Koreans. Those who survived the war became much more cunning and smart. Through the GIs and the missionary charity services we were given fancy goods which we had never seen before. Missionaries poured in and more churches were built all over Korea.
My eldest brother brought me to Sunday school in nearby churches. I remember attending Christmas and Easter programs. But at that time I had no idea about the reason for all those pageantries although I remember hearing my father praising Confucian teachings. As usual, life in Korea was not easy. By then my father, who loved drinking and parties, became an alcoholic and a womanizer. He neglected and eventually abandoned us. We lived poorer than all of our neighbors. And even now, I still wonder how my mother managed to pay our school tuitions year after year.
To my parent’s joy, I did well, especially in the area of academics and was an obedient student to the delight of all my teachers. When the Boy Scouts were first introduced in my town, I was chosen to join the experiment. From the very beginning, I enjoyed Boy Scout life – the outdoor living, the group activities, and especially doing good deeds for my fellowmen. I became a self-disciplinarian, greatly influenced by my school principal who was also a self-disciplinarian patterned after the teachings of Confucius. I not only built up my body by weight-lifting but built up my character as well using Benjamin Franklin’s self-disciplining method.
Through the Boy Scouts and other activities that were held around the USIS (US Information Service) building, I was deeply impressed by the things of America and the West. I was a frequent visitor to the USIS library where they also showed film strips every weekend. I sat through most of the USIS’s free films and read many of their library books and magazines. One of the books I still remember having read was the autobiography of Booker T. Washington, a negro educator. Reader’s Digest became my “Bible” as well.
To me, knowledge was everything; knowledge freed people from bondage. I read a lot, absorbing as much as I could. I became an intellectual who embraced the philosophies of men above all else. It was at this time that my dream was to become a sailor so that I could travel all over the world as a free man. Also during this time, a friend invited me to his Catholic church. I did attend some masses with him, but to a young intellectual, the religiosity of Catholicism did not appeal to me much.
In the meantime, my mother contracted a serious illness. Elder Park, a cult leader like Jim Jones, was conducting miracle healing all over Korea at that time. My mother attended one of those meetings and was cured, as she thought, by his healing. Since then, she became our resident preacher in our home. At almost every meal, my mother preached to us to repent of our sins and get the baptism by the Holy Spirit. We all learned to shut off our ears during those meals and to leave home as soon as we could.
I left home when I was 16 to attend a high school in Seoul, the capital city of Korea. All of the bright students in Korea were supposed to attend schools in Seoul. Therefore I was one of those who went to one of the best high schools in Seoul. I was glad to leave home even though I suffered from homesickness and loneliness at times.
While living at home, the pressure from my mother to repent had increased day by day. To be a filial son, I had obediently accompanied my mother to those revival meetings where miracle healing were conducted. I had witnessed with my own eyes a miracle or two. Even though I was greatly impressed by what I saw, I was skeptical of Elder Park’s claim that he was an instrument in the hands of God. Enough reports had leaked out of Elder Park’s commune that discredited his sainthood. Despite these reports, spiritual affairs held me much intrigued during that time of my life. So I had read books on Buddism, which was a prevalent religion in Korea, as well as Existentialism by Camut and Kierkegard. I had also read the books of the New Testament in English to learn more about Christianity.
Since I left home, I had to support myself by tutoring the children of a rich family and boarding with them. I was still a model student and had to remain one in order to maintain my scholarship. I was also quite a serious young man who used to argue that education was the ultimate answer for all of Korea’s problems. I even joined the literacy campaigns. Seeing such a solemn and idealistic man in me, my high school mates used to call me a Korean “Don Quixote”.
Can a man whose parents had split up and who had nothing much in possession still be proud of himself? Yes, in fact it was my PRIDE that kept me going. I was proud of my intellect and my school grades. Because my time was bound by my duty as a tutor, I had no time for extracurricular or social activities. Undoubtedly, I graduated high school as a valedictorian. But I was a lonely young man whose best companion were books.
Having lived with PRIDE for so long, I am very well acquainted with it. Pride is nothing but fig leaves that one puts on to cover up his nakedness. It is a defense mechanism to cover up a deep feeling of inferiority. I was the proud “Don Quixote” who believed that he could become whatever he wanted to become simply by trying hard with sheer will power.
As I matured into the college age, things didn’t turn out the way I had imagined. I began to realize that after all, I could neither keep the annual resolution nor the strict moral standard I had tried to achieve. It was during that time that what is called the fever of first-love hit me hard. I found myself pining after a co-ed who was much older than I. My grades fell as I day-dreamt. It became very difficult to concentrate on school work. I hated finding myself in such a vulnerable condition. The harder I tried to shake off the emotion, the more love-sick I became.
Not knowing how to relate that feeling in the real world – I was living in the world of books, you see – I became a withdrawn man. I turned to a little drinking and smoking and excessive music listening for comfort and solace. I fell into temptation and youthful lust which shattered all my pride. By then my grades were such that I was barely hanging on.
It was during that time that I attended an English-speaking JOY Youth Club. It was a Christian fellowship group that attracted those who wanted to practice speaking English. The club counselor who was an American missionary used the New Testament as our discussion material. As I look back, I read the Bible mainly to acquaint myself with the world’s most renown piece of literature and at the same time to have an upperhand over my mother on the subject of God. Yet, as I read on in the Bible, the Book gradually convicted me of my sins.
“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Romans 3:23.
At that time, I regarded Jesus as a good moral teacher and thought that religious fanatics like my mother had gotten him all wrong. But it was there at the club that I met some good Christian brothers and sisters whose lives reflected the peace and joy that I did not have. The Christianity they lived was quite different from what I saw in my mother and her associates. By then, I had no problem acknowledging that I was a sinner. When the counselor used Matthew 11:28 to offer an invitation to accept Jesus as saviour, I raised my hand and prayed the sinner’s prayer to receive the peace and joy Christ promised to those who accept Him in their hearts.
“Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28.
At that time I was tired of a lot of things but most of all of being a lived-in tutor. There was a college dormitory run by the Presbyterian Missionary. The church I attended belonged to that denomination. One of the requirements for admittance to the dorm was baptism by the denomination. I joined the Presbyterian church as a member and got baptized quickly to secure a space at the dorm. The Presbyterian group was quite liberal in doctrine. All students in that dorm were also liberal Christians who were politically oriented. There, all seemed to agree that the real answer for all problems in Korea was political reformation.
Meanwhile the Students’ Uprising of 1960 broke out which overthrew the existing government and set the stage for a military government. Some of my friends in the dorm were imprisoned later by the military government for planning socialistic insurrection. My growth as a newly born again Christian was minimal under the teachings of that liberal Presbyterian group because the gospel I heard was very much like a social gospel.
About the time when I graduated from college with a bachelor-of-law degree, I was worn out by love-sickness. And then came the call of military duty from the government. It was a welcome escape. I remember my boot camp experience as the loneliest time of my life. No one came to visit me and every letter I ever received from home contained grim news. My dear elder sister was dying of tuberculosis and we did not have money to put her in any hospital. She was prayed over many times by famous faith healers of that time but without much improvement. Of course she was blamed for her lack of faith when nothing improved. After much suffering she was reduced to skin and bones and eventually died.
My only consolation during that time was reading the pocket New Testament that one of my church friends gave me. I served four years of military duty as an Air Force officer living mostly in remote mountain tops manning radar sites. For a year or so I spent most of my leisure time preparing for the bar exam but soon lost my ambition and interest in pursuing a career in Korea. I knew that the way of the Lord was the right way but I lived like many other officers doing what was right in their own eyes.
Anyway, I was very much disillusioned with the way things were going in Korea and with the way I was living too. I wanted to go abroad to start a new life in America. The only way to get out of Korea at that time was to get an admittance from an American university and a sponsor who would guarantee my tuition. Those I did manage to obtain about the time I finished my military duty. As soon as the Korean Air Force released me, I left Korea with a suit case and just $100 cash in my wallet.
I went to Oklahoma State University as a foreign student. The Student Counseling job at the university provided for my room and board, but I had to earn the tuition. Every vacation and recess found me working to earn my tuition. Sometimes I had two or three jobs and thus had to catch up on sleep even during breaks. During that time, I met a few good Christian couples, American as well as Korean. By then I had seen many different life styles, and found Christian marriages to be the most desirable.
One Korean Christian couple who frequently satisfied my hunger for Korean food was a member of the Church of Christ. I went along with them to their church and enjoyed their Bible studies. Another couple who treated me with nice Korean dinners was Mormon. They never invited me to their church but their clean religious example impressed me a lot. There was also a couple of American families who invited me to their homes for Bible study fellowship and desserts. I wanted a happy home like what I saw. I began to pray for a Christian wife.
My main goal at that time was to get a Master’s degree and then settle down in the USA with a Christian wife. As soon as I made some money, I wanted to help my poor family in Korea. It was during my usual summer job in New York city that I heard of Billy Graham’s Shea Stadium Crusade. I went to the Crusade alone and rededicated myself to the Lord. I repented of my sin and my pride.
One female co-worker at my summer job had a friend who had gone to the same Crusade. After hearing my Crusade testimony, she insisted that I meet her friend, which I complied to do. Her friend was a good Christian woman well grounded in the word of God. Her encouragement and emotional support meant a lot during that time. Our Christian friendship developed into an even deeper kind of friendship. When I graduated from the University, we were married and settled down in New York.
My wife’s former roommate was an avid Family Radio listener. Thanks to her, my wife started to listen to Family Radio and became a fan. She often left our radio tuned to Family Radio. I came to like listening to it also. Family Radio had been airing Calvary Baptist’s church services. After hearing Dr. Stephen Olford’s sermons several times on the air, we decided to attend his church. Until that time, we had been church-hoppers, visiting all kinds of churches including Witness Lee’s local church, which turned out to be a cult.
Dr. Olford was a man who radiated a sanctified life. Every word of his sermon drove home in my heart. We sought to become members of that church. It was then a black deacon asked me if I was born again. I got upset with him for asking such a personal question. But then I realized that I didn’t have the blessed assurance most other Christians have. Instead of looking at the author and finisher of my faith, I was examining myself critically and taking note of all my failures as a Christian. I was still looking out to the world and myself from my own perspectives. I was trying to become a good Christian with my own strength.
When we heard an announcement on Family Radio about its summer Bible conference at Keswick, we went with anticipation to hear God’s messages. I had an excellent time there learning about Logos living, that is living by the word of God. Another thing that stood out was the sweet Christian fellowship. We met and got to know many godly people. And before the end of the conference I was given a chance to witness publicly. As I testified what the Lord had done in my life, I felt a definite sense of the Spirit of God anointing me. I returned home a changed man with the full assurance of my salvation. My tremendous hunger for the Word led me to read the Bible fasting. I started to see things from God’s perspective agreeing with God on all points.
I wanted an instant fix for my spirituality and sought for the ability to speak in tongues by attending a Charismatic church in Brooklyn New York in the evenings while attending Calvary Baptist church in the mornings. We even attended a Bible conference sponsored by the Charismatic church. By doing so, I thought I was reconciling to the religion of my mother and my elder brother who later became an ordained minister of the Assembly of God.
One of the wonderful things which happened while we were at Keswick was an invitation by the vice president of Family Radio for me to consider working for Family Radio as an accountant. It was quite an unexpected offer, but we were pleased to have been considered. What kept us from responding to the call quickly was the relatively low salary we were offered and our fear of moving to a totally new place in California known to New Yorkers as earthquake country.
It took a few months of praying and counseling before we were sure that it was the will of God to respond to the call. Soon, we were happily selling most of our possessions to follow the Lord’s call to serve. I was then full of zeal, feeling as if I were walking on cloud nine, and even speaking in tongues. I thought God would use me to bring Charismatic zeal to Family Radio.
It was quite a step of faith on both of our parts to leave our comfortable living, combined salaries, and many friends to go to California, which may any day go down under the Pacific Ocean. (Would you believe that such concern was real to us then?) But God gave us the joy of walking by faith. While learning to adjust to Californian life style, we also learned how to stretch dollars by means of coupons and thrift shops.
After visiting many churches (Charismatic churches being the first), we settled down at Fairhaven Bible Chapel, a brethren type church which we have attended for the last 16 years. We chose to attend the church because its humble atmosphere was inviting and the humility of the elders was impressive as well. It is a church where every one is expected to exercise his or her gift for the edification of the body. And almost all its members were ministers of the Word. I realized quickly how little I knew of the Bible and attended all of the Bible studies, including the midweek Bible studies, and most of the seminars that my church has sponsored.
One of the elders who was a member of the staff of the Navigators was kind enough to disciple me for a year or so. He made sure that I was on a solid Biblical ground and built in me the basic Christian characters. I also learned how to be a good husband and also the head of our home. The Lord blessed me with two children and parenting became my priority. Because it had good programs for young parents and a good support group as well, I owe a lot of my Christian training to the body of the church.
Serving at Family Radio has been a great blessing too. I have the privilege of listening to the edifying teachings and music it broadcasts all day long while at work and even in the evenings. It is like being in a full-day Bible school. Mr. Camping, who is the President and General Manager of Family Radio, has been a tremendous challenge to my walk with the Lord. Once a week, he also teaches us from the Scriptures on the things of God. It took a couple of years of study with him before I could see that tongues, dreams and visions are no longer valid. Well, that was the end of my zeal for the Charismatic movement.
Seeing from the inside how the Lord guides and blesses the ministry of Family Radio day to day is also a tremendous experience as well. My family has been given the annual privilege of attending the Family Radio summer Bible conferences every year since the time I first served at Family Radio. The Summer Bible conferences have been the source of encouragement and learning as well as fun for the whole family. To see my children grow in the fear and nurture of the Lord is a great delight, not to mention the pleasure I experience as my wife becomes a better friend and companion and further enriches my life. I am indeed a happy and fulfilled man in Christ Jesus.
While all this was happening in the States, I heard that the woman my father was with had abandon him because he was dying of bleeding ulcer. I went back to Korea to take care of my father. I brought my father to my mother’s apartment and ministered to him as much as I knew how to until he died. I believed he died a saved man. And I should be very happy to know that he died a born-again christian, shouldn’t I ? Yes, I was, but I felt that there was also a part of me that was still angry with the way my father had lived his life and wanted to see him pay for it himself. But then I realized, it was Christ Jesus who paid the price on the cross for my father’s hardto -forgive sins and evil lifestyle. There was actually nothing left that should make me cry for vengeance.
That’s when I fully understood the meaning of the parable of Matthew 20:1-16, the story of the laborer who received the same payment of a penny even when he joined the labor force late. The grace that saved me also saved my father. It is God who saves and it is His pleasure that saves all those upon whom He will have mercy. None deserves His mercy and grace. The fact that my father who hardened his heart so long by sinful living could still come to God for mercy was the work of wonderful grace.
Before then, I had been struggling to reconcile in my mind the freewill doctrine of my church with the Calvinistic reformed doctrine of Family Radio. But then all became clear to me that it is God’s grace alone and none of my works that caused me to be able to come to salvation. I have no apologies now for my being a five point Calvinist. I know from deep in my heart that it was God who guided my life from birth until now to let me see that nothing of my own ability or intellect could help me to attain the grace of God. It was all by His good pleasure that I am what I am. He redeemed me by His work on the cross and doubly won my heart by His patient dealings with me over all these years.
How did He do that? He did it by first planting His Word in the hearts of those who became good models for me and then finally planting His Word in my own heart. He cleanses me daily by his Word, not by the feeling that I experienced but by the washing of my mind, heart and will by the pure water of the gospel. As a result, I am more than persuaded that the Bible alone in its entirety is the infallible Word of God, by which every man should live with faith, and that Jesus Christ is the sole answer to all the problems of the world. I have also resolved in my heart to live the rest of my life as a witness of His grace and mercy. My goal is to declare as much as I can of the blessed Word of God to the lost world.
Indeed it is by the grace Jesus showed by becoming poor that I am made rich in Him. I was poor and totally depraved. But God in His good pleasure made me not only one of His sons who are clothed in the robes of the King’s righteousness but also a joint heir with Jesus Christ. What a rich man I am. Praise God!
“For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.” 2 Corinthians 8:9
Richard Yim. 1991.