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A Dinner Speaker Monday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"A Dinner Speaker"
 
     
 
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when
he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he
had forgotten his dentures. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I
forgot my teeth."
 
The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket
and pulled out a pair of dentures. "Try t hese," he said.
 
The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.
 
The man then said, "I have another pair - try these."
 
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
 
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair.
Try them."
 
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave
his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to
thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my
aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."
 
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."
 
 
"Complaining"
 
 
Barbara and Karen were discussing marriage, and Barbara said,
"We've been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband
has complained about the food.
Not one night without complaining about the food."
 
Karen said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"
 
Barbara said, "Why should I object if he doesn't like his own
cooking?"
 
 
"Michigan Fan"
 
                 
 
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Michigan fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Michigan fans
too.
 
Not really knowing what a Michigan fan was, but wanting to be
liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is,
however, one exception. A little girl named Barbara has not gone
along with the crowd.
 
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
 
 "Because I'm not a Michigan fan" she reports.
 
 "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
 
"I'm a proud Michigan State Fan" the girl said.
 
The teacher is a little perturbed, her face slightly red.
She asks Jane why she is a Michigan State Fan.
 
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Michigan State  fans, so I'm a Michigan State fan too," she responds.
 
The teacher is angry now. "That's no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot.
What would you be then?"
 
Barbara smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Michigan fan."
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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