ABC'S of Aging
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
A is for arthritis,
B is for bad back,
C is for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches, and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido--there is not much to say
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time (But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my M-memory from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteoporosis - for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu? Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux--one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on how to pay my increasing medical bills!
T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears and the word "terminal" also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet found
X is for X ray--and what one might find
Y is for year (another one I'm still alive)
so Z is for zest - for surviving the symptoms my body's deployed, And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.
******************************************
*** Leftovers ***
Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers.
"It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'."
"You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" v"That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!"
********************************************
*** Complaining About the Food ***
Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night without complaining about the food."
The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"
The first one said, "Why should I object if he doesn't like his own cooking?"
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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