Accountants
Posted by: root <root@...>
didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
------------
What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole
named after him.
------------ When does a person decide to become an accountant? When he
realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
---------
What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's
talking to you instead of his own.
-------------
What's an auditor? Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the
wounded.
-------------
Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's
what they did last year.
-------------
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and
those who can't.
-------------
How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand
in front of him and fold up a roadmap the wrong way.
-------------
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
-------------
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of
nothing.
-------------
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting
sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find it"
-------------
Comprehending Accountants - To the optimist, the glass is half
full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the accountant, the glass
is twice as big as it needs to be.