Quote from Forum Archives on June 27, 2005, 9:53 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"AGING GRACEFULLY"

 

 

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
--------------------------------------------

 

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

 

"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

 

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
------------------------------------------

 

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
------------------------------------------

 

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

 

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

 

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
----------------------------------------------

 

I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't
hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel
my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all
my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
----------------------------------------------

 

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart .

 

"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"

 

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
From Brenda

"My Wife and I"

 

 

 

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:

 

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,
some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in Sarnia and mine is in Point Edward.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker
Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!".
So I bought her an electric chair.
7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
9. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....
I said, "Dust!"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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