Quote from Forum Archives on May 26, 2006, 11:23 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM SHOPPING"

 

 

1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.
2. If it's on sale, you need it.
3. Never ask your mother her opinion.
4. You can always take it back.
5. You'll grow into it.
6. By the time you need it, you'll lose ten pounds.
7. Never believe anyone who says, "It's really you".
8. If they're working on commission, they're lying.
9. Know when to yell, "Charge!"
10. So many malls, so little time.
11. If you put it on your credit card, it's not really spending money.
12. Always try to spend someone else's money first.
13. There's no such thing as compulsive shopping, just enthusiastic
shopping.
14. Shopping is patriotic. It's good for the economy.
15. If you've still got checks, there must be money in the account.
16. You can always get more credit.
17. If you want it, you deserve it.

 

 

"Old Golf Ball"

 

 

Willey had been playing golf for years and he had the finest
golfing equipment, but his technique never improved a bit.

 

As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly
drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole,
he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a
new ball in another part of the woods.

 

"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend Molly asked.

 

"I've never had an old ball," Willey said.

 

 

"Shoes"

 

 

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when
he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The
date stamped on the ticket showed it was over eleven years
old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them
might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a
decade ago.

 

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold
asked.

 

"Not very likely," his wife said.

 

"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.

 

He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the
store.

 

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind
the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said,
"Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."

 

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

 

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

 

"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who
would have thought they'd still be here after all this
time."

 

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.

 

"They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

 

Have a Blessed Weekend

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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