Quote from Forum Archives on November 26, 2001, 6:51 am

Posted by: root <root@...>

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One
finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little
late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke
down,
found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and
now
I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he
was
here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up
to
the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but
missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a
horse
but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the
first
guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General,
panting heavily,

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but
missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it
took
forever to get around them."

____________________________________________________

Kids
====

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked
to
judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly
gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the
little
boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat
there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the
little
boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
*********************
Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family.
One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other
family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl
said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted."

"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.

"It means," said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of
her tummy."
*********************
A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked
down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird
in
here?" The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He
asked, "Do you think I'll find
the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent.

Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart
beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"

"Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my
underpants."
*********************
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local Little
League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home.

As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the
boys what the score was.

"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.

"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."

"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face."Why should we
be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."
*********************
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about
little
Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother
told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would
not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect
him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and
excitement.

"Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a
lesson to me: "I've been chosen to
clap and cheer."
*********************
A lesson in "heart" is my little 10 year old daughter, Sarah, who was born
with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time. She came
home one beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed in "field day" -
that's where they have lots of races and other competitive events. Because
of
her leg support, my mind raced as I
tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her
about
not letting this get her down, but before I could get a word out, she said
"Daddy, I won two of the races!" I couldn't believe it!

And then Sarah said, "I had an advantage. "Ah. I knew it. I thought she must
have been given a head start.. some kind of physical advantage. But again,
before I could say anything she said, "Daddy, I didn't get a head start...
My
advantage was I had to try harder!"