Art Mirrors Life
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a
candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person.
"How does that thing work?" she asked.
As I turned the figurine's arm to pop candy out, my sister
laughed.
"I see.. it's a lot like my husband," she said. "You have
to twist his arm to get anything out of him too!"
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*** Christian Dictionary ***
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending church.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the
congregation to lip-sync.
HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than
that of the congregation's range.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: A religious order known for their ability to put together
really good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
MAGI: The most famous men to ever attend a baby shower.
MANGER: The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always
been rough.
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in some churches.
RELICS: People who have been going to church for so long, they actually
know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David
Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating
capacity of a pew.
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*** Just Some Stuff ***
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teen-ager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
people a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
looks?
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for
Miss America?
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
them all yourself.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
"A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when
opportunity knocks."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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