Quote from Forum Archives on December 6, 2004, 7:00 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

Special Note:
I cannot use graphics to send Clean hewmor while on
vacation and will rewsume using graphics when I am
once again at home.

Bad Day Fishing

A man had a terrible day on the water. Couldn't catch
a thing.
At the end of the day, on the way home, he stopped at
the
supermarket. At the fish counter he asked for four
whole cat-
fish.

"And could you throw them at me?" he asked the man
behind the
counter.

"Why would you want me to do that?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them!"

~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~
~**~

Christmas Story for People Having a Bad Day

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee
elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa
was beginning
to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Clause told Santa that her mom was coming to
visit. This
stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that
three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and
were out, heaven knows where.
More stress.

Then when be began to load the sleigh one of the
boards cracked, and the toy bag
fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup
of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the
elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to
drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider
pot, and it broke into hundreds of little
pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten
the straw end of the broom
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa
trudged to the door. He opened the door,
and there was a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully. "Merry Christmas,
Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have
a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to
stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top
of the Christmas tree.

~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~
~**~

Letters Of Recommendations For Employees

For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed his career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work
to do."

For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number
of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this
person to work for you."
"He consistently achieves the standards
he sets for himself."

For an employee who is so unproductive
that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be
better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further
consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making
this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things
about this candidate or recommend him too
highly."

~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~
~**~

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

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