BASEBALL IN THE BIBLE
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
'In the Big Inning' (Genesis 1:1)
'Thou shalt make a plate ...' (Exodus 28:36)
'Who catcheth ...' (Lev. 17:13)
'Samson went and caught ...' (Judges: 15:14)
'Joshua did pitch ...' (Joshua 4:20)
'Who hath first ...' (Romans 11:35)
'The field I give thee ...' (Genesis 23:11)
'... they were in the field.' (Genesis 4:8)
'It will be fou l...' (Matthew 21:30)
'Thou art fair ...' (Songs of Solomon 1:15)
'past the first ...' (Acts 12:10)
'He came to second ... (Matthew 21:30)
'Likewise ... and the third' (Matthew 22:36)
'Haman came Home' (Ester 5:10)
'is safe' (Proverbs 18:10)
'Pitch it within and without ...' (Genesis 6:14)
'I caught him' (I Samuel 17:35)
'Ye have erred' (Numbers 15:22)
'Neither say it was an error' (Ecclesiastes 5:6)
'Shall we sacrifice ...?' (Exodus 8:26)
'Make a sacrifice ...' (Numbers 15:3)
(Wherefore didst thou steal ...? (Genesis 31:27)
'Everyone that stealeth shall be cut off ...' (Zechariah 5:3)
TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.
TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.
TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He'll need it if he continues
to farm as he has in the past.
TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next
year anyway.
TO THE FARM ADVISOR: 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the
market. I never did.
TO THE JUNK MAN: All my machinery. He's had his eye on it for years.
TO MY UNDERTAKER: A special request. I want six implement and
fertilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They're used to carrying me.
TO THE WEATHERMAN: Rain, sleet, and snow for the funeral please. No
sense having good weather now.
TO THE GRAVEDIGGER: Don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big
enough.
TO THE MONUMENT MAKER: For the epitaph: "Here lies a farmer
who has now properly assumed all of his obligations."
oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then
get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; he
decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what
the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps
His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line
hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a
while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts
laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the
floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him
what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make'em
all ugly again".
SO....THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE 'LAST IN LINE'...CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY!
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