Basic Training
Posted by: root <root@...>
spend one week in the field roughing it. It rained the entire week. We
arose daily in our swampy tent, took a cold-water beauty bath from
our helmets, donned our pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged
through the mud to set up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal
appearance frequently left much to be desired.
The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we waited in the
mess line in the mud and rain. A young private came by with a
camera and asked to take our picture. "It will prove to my girl," he
said, "that she has NO reason to be jealous!"
T-Shirt Slogans
2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.
11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, coughing, why-oh-why-is-the-room-
spinning medicine.
14) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
15) God must love stupid people; he made so many.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
21) To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
22) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up.
23) My Dog Can Lick Anyone
24) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?
25) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
27) Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
29) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
30) Stupidity is NOT a handicap. Park elsewhere!