Because I Am A Man Tuesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start."
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as, much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how on earth could he know where we're going?
Because I'm a man, whatever you get your mother for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male.
For years I had been telling my friend Pete that he
ate too much fast food, but he always denied it.
One day he admitted I was right.
"What changed your mind?" I asked.
"My grandson." he said. "When my daughter told him
I was coming to visit, he asked, 'Grandpa from Florida
or Grandpa from Pizza Hut?'"
Songs From The Hospital Hit Parade 
'I'll be Sewing You'
'Red Cells in the Sunset'
'It's Spleen a Long, Long Time'
'It Had to Be Flu'
'On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma'
'Gonna Take a Sentimental Gurney'
'The Staphs and Streps Forever'
'Old Man's Liver'
'I've Grown Accustomed to Her Brace'
'The Girl from Emphysema'
'MRI Blue?'
'My Melancolicky Baby'
'From Here to Maternity'
As seen in Syman Says
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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