Big John
Posted by: <@...>
A very small, sickly-looking man was hired as a waiter. The Texas restaurant
owner gave him a word of warning: "Drop everything and run for your life
if ever you hear that Big John is on his way to town."
The man worked several months without any problems.
Then one day a cowhand rushed in shouting, "Big John is a'comin'," and
knocked the small waiter on the floor in his hurry to get out.
Before the waiter had a chance to recover, a giant of a man with a
black bushy beard rode into the restaurant through the swinging doors on the
back of a buffalo, and using a rattlesnake for a whip.
The man tore the doors off their hinges, knocked over tables, and flung
the snake into the corner. He then took his massive fist and split his table
in half as he asked for a sasparilla.
The waiter nervously handed a bottle to the man, he bit off the top of
the bottle with his teeth, downed the contents in one gulp, and turned to
leave.
Seeing that he wasn't hurting anyone, the waiter asked the man if he
would like another sasparilla.
"I ain't got no time," the man roared. "Big John is a'comin' to town."
----
BONUS JOKE
Some Quick Thinking
A feisty 70 year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman.
After a quick inspection, the man put some oil into the motor and handed
her a $70 bill for labor.
"Labor charges! One hour?" she exclaimed. "It only took you five minutes!"
The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on
every house call.
"Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady responded, and
she handed him a rake.
The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.