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"Biggest Lie" Friday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Biggest Lie"
 
 
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
 
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
 
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
 
"How It All Works"
 
 
Three contractors were bidding to fix the White House fence. One was
from New York, another was from Kentucky and the third was from
Florida. Along with a White House official, they examined the fence.
 
The Florida contractor took out a tape measure, did some measuring,
then worked on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he said, "I
figure the job will run about $900. That would be $400 for
materials, $400 for my crew, and a $100 profit for me."
 
The Kentucky contractor also did some measuring and figuring, then
said, "I can do this job for $700. That would be $300 for materials,
$300 for my crew, and a $100 profit for me."
 
The New York contractor didn't do any measuring or figuring, but
leaned over to the White House official and whispered, "$2,700."
 
The official was incredulous and said, "You didn't even measure like
the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
 
"Easy," the New Yorker explained: "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me,
and we hire the guy from Kentucky."
 
 
"At Fault"
 
 
It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said,
"We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand.
I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week."
 
Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said,
 
"It's not all my fault either; she's tough to get along with."
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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