Quote from Forum Archives on May 2, 2005, 11:15 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Billy Graham"

 

  

 

Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home.   As he prepared to get into  the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know' he said, I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine.    Would you mind if I drove it for a while?  The driver said, "No problem, have at it."
Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.  The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin procedure.  The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who  was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.

 

He told the supervisor,  "I know we are supposed to  enforce the law but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies.  I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."  The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?"    The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."  The supervisor said, "Oh, it's the president."  The young trooper said "No, he's even more important than that."   The supervisor finally asked,   "Well then, who is it?"

 

The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffer!"

 

     

 

"STORIES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH"

 

 

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

 

##############

 

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!" ###############

 

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

 

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

 

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

 

##############

 

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.

 

##############

 

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

 

##############

 

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

 

##############

 

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

 

#############

 

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

 

###########

 

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.
From Gary

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"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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