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Breakfast Monday
2,360 Posts
#1 · October 3, 2004, 4:48 pm
Quote from Forum Archives on October 3, 2004, 4:48 pmPosted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
I would ask you to please keep Niki in your prayers.Niki has had some set backs and really needs our prayers. Please keep the family in prayer also.
Thank You.
<><><><><>
"Breakfast"A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly
her husband burst into the kitchen."Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're
cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need
more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're
going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"The wife stared at him and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving with you in the car.""First things First"Asking the children in my Sunday School class,
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale and gave all my money to the church,
would I get into Heaven?" "NO"! the children all
answered."If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the
yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I
get into Heaven"? Again, the answer was "NO"!"Well," I continued, "then how can I get to
Heaven?" In the back of the room, a 5 yr. old boy
shouted out, "You gotta be dead"!!!"Big Trouble"A principal who was expecting a visit from the superintendent had to make a
quick call, so she left a student by her office door to watch for him.When he arrived, the student said, "You must be in big trouble! I'm supposed
to bring you straight into the office.""What Do Men See In Golf"Shari and Judi were talking one evening.
Judi said, "You know Sis, I just don't get the attraction
golf holds for men."
Shari replied, "Tell me about it! I went golfing with Bill
one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!"
Judi consoled, "Well, I'm sure you were just trying to
understand the game. What questions did you ask?"
Shari answered, "Well I thought I was asking simple
questions, and all I said was:
'Why did you hit the ball into that lake'?"Have a Blessed Day
Dave and BarbaraNecessary Legal InformationI do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter
from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you
receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than
me, has forwarded it to you.Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
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Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
I would ask you to please keep Niki in your prayers.Niki has had some set backs and really needs our prayers. Please keep the family in prayer also.
Thank You.
<><><><><>
Thank You.
<><><><><>
"Breakfast"
A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly
her husband burst into the kitchen.
her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're
cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need
more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're
going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"
cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need
more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're
going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"
The wife stared at him and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving with you in the car."
when I'm driving with you in the car."
"First things First"
Asking the children in my Sunday School class,
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale and gave all my money to the church,
would I get into Heaven?" "NO"! the children all
answered.
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale and gave all my money to the church,
would I get into Heaven?" "NO"! the children all
answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the
yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I
get into Heaven"? Again, the answer was "NO"!
yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I
get into Heaven"? Again, the answer was "NO"!
"Well," I continued, "then how can I get to
Heaven?" In the back of the room, a 5 yr. old boy
shouted out, "You gotta be dead"!!!
Heaven?" In the back of the room, a 5 yr. old boy
shouted out, "You gotta be dead"!!!
"Big Trouble"
A principal who was expecting a visit from the superintendent had to make a
quick call, so she left a student by her office door to watch for him.
quick call, so she left a student by her office door to watch for him.
When he arrived, the student said, "You must be in big trouble! I'm supposed
to bring you straight into the office."
to bring you straight into the office."
"What Do Men See In Golf"
Shari and Judi were talking one evening.
Judi said, "You know Sis, I just don't get the attraction
golf holds for men."
Shari replied, "Tell me about it! I went golfing with Bill
one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!"
Judi consoled, "Well, I'm sure you were just trying to
understand the game. What questions did you ask?"
Shari answered, "Well I thought I was asking simple
questions, and all I said was:
'Why did you hit the ball into that lake'?"
Judi said, "You know Sis, I just don't get the attraction
golf holds for men."
Shari replied, "Tell me about it! I went golfing with Bill
one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!"
Judi consoled, "Well, I'm sure you were just trying to
understand the game. What questions did you ask?"
Shari answered, "Well I thought I was asking simple
questions, and all I said was:
'Why did you hit the ball into that lake'?"
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter
from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you
receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than
me, has forwarded it to you.
from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you
receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than
me, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org
Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>
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