Bricklayer Accident Report
Posted by: root <root@...>
Think you have had a bad day...This is a bricklayer's accident report, which
was printed in the newsletter of the British equivalent of the Workers'
Compensation Board. This is a true story.
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building.
When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over, which, when
weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than
carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a
pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it.
Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow
descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form
that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In
the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding
downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull,
minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the
accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately
by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly
to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to
experience.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my
weight. As you might imagine, I began a Rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe
lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.
The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries
when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were
cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of
the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back
down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your
inquiry.
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