Quote from Forum Archives on February 7, 2005, 12:11 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 "Burma Shave"

 

She kissed the hairbrush
By mistake
She thought it was
Her husband Jake
Use Burma Shave

Remember these?
For those who never saw the Burma shave signs, here is a quick lesson in
our history of the 1930s and '40's. Before the Interstates, when
everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted
all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs
with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1
line of a 4 line couplet, and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma
Shave (a popular shaving cream)

Here are more of the actual signs:

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave

DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave

BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING NURSE
Burma Shave

SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT
Burma Shave

THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave

AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
ITS A BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?
Burma Shave

NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU
Burma Shave

A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'
Burma Shave

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY
Burma Shave

BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE
Burma Shave

THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON THE CAR
TO DO HIS THINKING
Burma Shave

CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.
Burma Shave

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave

From Buffalo Chips

 

"In a Minute"

 

 

A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the
clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.

"God", he said, "how long is a million years?"

God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God answered, "To me, it's a penny."

The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "In a minute."

 

"How To Tell The Weather"

 

Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if
the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining
really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's
probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to
be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog
outside
all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)

 

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