Caddy
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told
him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?"
"Five." answered Felix.
"Okay," my brother said, "let's go."
One day while we were studying the solar system in
my fifth-grade class one of the students posed an
intriguing question about comets. Because I like to
show the class that learning is a fun, lifelong process,
I told the young gal, "That's an excellent question. I
don't know the answer. I wonder where we could
find out."
Her response was sincere disbelief. "You don't know?
I thought teachers were supposed to know
*everything*!"
A slow grin crept over my face as I prepared to give
my "learning is a life-long process" speech. But before
I could get a word out a student from across the room
blurted out, "Yeah, but he's only a fifth-grade teacher."
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming
from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 911.
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me
how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.
Dispatcher: 911. What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven
are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 911. What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are
only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband.
Dispatcher: 911.
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out
of breath. I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you
an asthmatic?
Caller: No.
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started
having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police. So don't send them.
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