Quote from Forum Archives on June 19, 2006, 11:01 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Camping Out"

 

 

With Summer Vacation season upon us
I found this to be some good reading.
These are actual comments left on
Forest Service registration sheets and
comment cards by backpackers
completing wilderness camping trips:

 

"A small deer came into my camp and
stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I
can get reimbursed? Please call."

 

"Escalators would help on steep uphill
sections."

 

"Instead of a permit system or regulations,
the Forest Service needs to reduce
worldwide population growth to limit the
number of visitors to wilderness."

 

"Trails need to be wider so people can
walk while holding hands."

 

"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers
that use walking sticks are more likely to
chase animals."

 

"All the mile markers are missing this year."

 

"Found a smouldering cigarette left by a
horse."

 

"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please
avoid building trails that go uphill."

 

"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders
and spider webs. Please spray the
wilderness to rid the area of these pests."

 

"Please pave the trails so they can be
plowed of snow in the winter."

 

"Chairlifts need to be in some places so
that we can get to wonderful views without
having to hike to them."

 

"The coyotes made too much noise last
night and kept me awake. Please eradicate
these annoying animals."

 

"Reflectors need to be placed on trees
every 50 feet so people can hike at night
with flashlights."

 

"Need more signs to keep area pristine."

 

"A McDonald's would be nice at the trailhead."

 

"The places where trails do not exist are not
well marked."

 

"Too many rocks in the mountains."

 

 

"The Twenty Dollar Bill"

 

 

 

There was this 20 dollar bill and a 1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt
at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. As they were lying there side
by side the $1 dollar bill said to the 20 dollar bill, "Hey mannnnnn, where
have you been. I haven't seen you in a long time ?"

 

The 20 dollar bill replied, "Man I have been having a ball! I been
traveling to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to
the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the
mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that I just newly
built. "In fact, just this week I've been to Europe, a professional NBA
game, rodeo, the all-day retreat spa, the top-notch hair salon and the new casino!
I have done it all!!!"

 

After describing his great travels, the 20 dollar bill asked the 1
dollar bill, "What about you? Where have you been?"

 

The 1 dollar bill replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church,
the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church,
the Church of God in Christ, the Catholic church, the Mormon church,
the Disciple of Christ church, the..."

 

"WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!!" shouted the 20 dollar bill to the
1 dollar bill. "What's a church?"

 

"Riders"

 

 

After a round of golf, 4 elderly ladies sat around the clubhouse chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go?"

 

The first said she had a good round...making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was.

 

The second lady then quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders.

 

The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders.

 

The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long.

 

The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant.  But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left.

 

He then approached the bartender and asked, "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about
when they refer to "riders"?"

 

The bar tender simply smiled and said... "a "rider" is when you have hit a shot long enough to take a ride on a golf cart."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

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