Canine Christianity
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Canine Christianity's
The name of the game
Most players are losers
For their religion is vain
Poodle-type Preachers
Man pleasing Mutts
Preach a bless-me club gospel
Cuz TRUTH takes guts
Pit-Bulls in the Pulpit
Latch on and won't let go
They like to dictate
To be in CONTROL
Chihuahua-type Charades
Bark loud but don't bite
Won't practice what they preach
Don't even know what's right
Wolves in sheep's clothing
With rich coats of wool
Devour little lambs
Who've been blinded as fools
All kinds of canines
Many different breeds
But only one in which
God is ever pleased
He is the sheepdog
Who is faithful and true
Leading sheep to their Shepherd
Is what he longs to do
He'd lay down his life
And gladly count the cost
It would hurt him far less
Than if one lamb were lost
WHAT IS A GRANDMOTHER
Taken from papers written
by a class of 8-year-olds.!
A grandmother is a lady who has
no little children of her own.
She likes other people's.
-
A grandfather is a
man grandmother.
-
Grandmothers don't have
to do anything except be there
when we come to see them.
-
They are so old they
shouldn't play hard or run.
It is good if they drive us
to the store and have
lots of quarters for us.
-
When they take us for walks,
they slow down past things
like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
-
They show us and talk to us
about the color of the flowers
and also
Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."
-
They don't say,
"Hurry up."
-
Usually grandmothers are fat,
but not too fat
to tie your shoes.
-
They wear glasses
and funny underwear.
-
They can take their
teeth and gums out.
-
Grandmothers
don't have to be smart.
-
They have to answer questions like
"why isn't God married?"
and
"How come dogs chase cats?".
-
When they read to us,
they don't skip.
They don't mind if we ask
for the same story over again.
-
Everybody should try to
have a grandmother, especially
if you don't have television,
because they are the only
grown ups who like to spend time with us.
-
They know we should have
snack-time before bedtime and
they say prayers with us every time,
and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
SCHOOL TEST ANSWERS
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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