WAS: {PAY} Should I feel guilty? IS: To Play or Not to Play
Posted by: lone_rhino <lone_rhino@...>
> Of course Ace, nobody says you HAVE to play at church -
> not doing that was the best thing I could do for my family
James, that was totally appropriate and sage advice.
I have had two periods where I have taken extended sabbaticals
from playing while still attending the church. One was when I
was part of a ministry and my first child was born. We took that
time as a family to revel in the newness of being parents, and
to adjust our family to the new routines.
The next one was when we were searching for, and (plugged into)
a new church. Trying as hard as I might, I made the effort to
turn the "gig filter" off when we visited many, many churches.
In an aside, I do have to say that at one church I liked the
teaching and location, but man...the music literally gave me a
headache. And my daughter (at a little over 1) hit her head on a
pole in the middle of the nursery (that had no padding!) and had
a goose-egg on her forehead...and they didn't call us. So, I
figured that two out of three family members had headaches after
going there, it wasn't for us!
Anyway, we ended up settling in at our current church. The first
Sunday we visited, the MoM and senior pastor, both of whom I had
known from a previous church approached me about playing. I told
them that more than anything I wanted us to get off to a good
spiritual and community start. Playing was secondary. They both
understood, and encouraged that. Not enough can be said about
having WISE LEADERSHIP, rather than leaders looking to plug
holes.
My current MoM has told me many times that he's rather go
without a bass player on a given Sunday than either burn someone
out, or cause discord in a family.
It didn't take long before I WANTED to play, and I did start
hanging out with the team at practices and such. But I took the
time to pray and see *when* the timing was right. It was about
five months before it was truly the right time.
The most amazing thing for me was that for where I was at: a
little down on myself for where I was at "talent-wise", coming
out of something of a spiritual drought, that it was wholly the
right thing to do for me to wait. God honored that.
Due to some unknown chemistry band-wise playing had become a
chore in my previous situation. It wasn't a personal thing, it
was a musical thing. It dragged me down and I just didn't see
it. It took a long layoff from playing to work through those
issues. And it was nice to just plain feel free to worship in
music, without thinking about how I would play it differently.
Just about a year ago, a guy from our team bought a house in
another city. He and his (now) fiancee felt that they were being
called to be plugged into a church there, and they did. He
struggled with wanting to get involved quickly with the music
ministry. I told him that I don't often offer serious
advice...but I told him to wait, listen, then act. He just a
couple of weeks ago started, and it is amazing to see the
excitement that he has for playing. And as a bonus, he is now
engaged, and they had that great time to work on their
relationship in the meantime.
So, for those of you who do switch churches, or are just plain
tired, give yourself the freedom to NOT play.
Bob
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