Quote from Forum Archives on April 19, 2006, 4:00 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Cell Phone Call"

 

 

 

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell  
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free  
speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the  
room stops to listen.  

 

MAN: "Hello"  

 

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"  

 

MAN: "Yes"  

 

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful  
leather coat! It's only $1,000! Is it OK if I buy it?"  

 

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."  

 

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and  
saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked."  

 

MAN: "How much?"  

 

WOMAN: "$60,000"  

 

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the  
options."  

 

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house we  
wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking  
$950,000."  

 

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but  
just offer $900,000."  

 

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"  

 

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."  

 

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are  
looking at him in astonishment.  

 

Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

 

 

"USES FOR THE BIBLE"

 

 

The Bible requires an activity that must take place before we can
enjoy it benefits.  It's called reading.  Because God chose written
language as the primary method of communicating His message to us, the
Bible is, first of all meant to be read.

 

We know that for some people this may be a new idea.  After all,
thoughout history, the Bible has had a number of  usees:

 

The Bible looks great on a coffee table, especially when the pastor
comes for a visit.

 

On several documented occasions, a Bible stuffed into the breasst
pocket of a military Jacket prevented a bullet from inflicting mortal
harm to a soldier.

 

Without the Bible, people in a courtroom would have to swear to tell
the truth on a Webster's Dictionary

 

<img alt="" hspace=0 src="https://welovegod.org/guide/wp-content/uploads/@AT-Line.gif" align=baseline border=0>

 

"AIRPORT FOOD"

 

          

 

A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw
that the sandwiches were named for planes. "I'll have a
'jumbo jet,'" he said.

 

When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small
his burger was, but he ate it anyway. He called his waiter over.
"Was that the 'jumbo jet?'" he asked.

 

"Yeah," the waiter answered. "Went pretty fast, didn't it?"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

You know how to make God laugh?
Tell Him YOUR plans for the future.

 

 

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