There was a feud between the Pastor and the Choir Director of a Church.
It seems the first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on "Dedicating Yourselves to Service" and the Choir Director chose to sing: "I Shall Not Be Moved".
Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he preached on "Giving." Afterwards, the choir squirmed as the director led them in the hymn: "Jesus Paid It All".
By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper. Sunday morning attendance swelled as the tension between the two built. A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his sermon on "The Sin of Gossiping." Would you believe the Choir Director selected the song: "I Love To Tell The Story"?
There was no turning back. The following Sunday the Pastor told the congregation that unless something changed, he was considering resignation. The entire church gasped when the Choir Director led them in: "Why Not Tonight"?
Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The Choir Director could not resist: "What A Friend We Have In Jesus."
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Humerous Kid Stuff
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
"Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the
groom wearing black?"
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,
getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,
and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on
a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribblesa few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
collect all the money!"
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for
her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had
to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father
and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how
to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing
a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other,
"What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned out. It's probably just your Dad.
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Have a Blessed day
Dave and Barbara
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