Quote from Forum Archives on November 19, 2006, 9:11 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Church Feuds"

 

 

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.

 

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.'

 

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.'

 

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.'

 

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.'

 

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'

 

"Emergency Call"

 

 

Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him--lights flashing.

 

Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.

 

Within seconds, came the police officer's hand in response, dangling a pair of handcuffs out the window.

 

 

"First Pet"

 

 

The children begged for a hamster and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny.

 

Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it.

 

The children took the news of Danny's imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, "He's been around here a long time, we'll miss him."

 

"Yes," Mom replied, "But he's too much work for one person and since I'm that one person, I say he goes."

 

Another child offered, "Well, maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy, we could keep him."

 

But Mom was firm. "It's time to take Danny to his new home now," she insisted. "Go and get his cage."

 

With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, "Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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