Church Staff Job Descriptions

#1 · September 17, 2002, 12:27 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

PASTOR:

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policies to God.

ASSOCIATE PASTOR:

Is able to leap short buildings in a single bound.
Is as powerful as a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.

MINISTER OF EDUCATION:

Leaps short buildings with a running start.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water if he knows where the stumps are.
Talks with God if special request is approved.

MINISTER OF MUSIC:

Clears a quanset hut.
Loses race with locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.

MINISTER OF YOUTH:

Runs into small buildings.
Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times.
Uses a squirt gun.
Knows how to use the water fountain.
Mumbles to himself.

CHURCH SECRETARY:

Lifts buildings to walk under them.
Kicks locomotives off the track.
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth.
Freezes water with a single glance.
When God speaks she says, "May I ask who is calling?"

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

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