Cleaan Hewmor For Today
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials
really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus
would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove
Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.
The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and
terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses'
followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds
a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't
like
to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where
Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a
Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the
hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:
"Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the
Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda ....."The Apostles
were in one Accord."!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~ MAKING A HORSE ~~~
A young boy who had just returned home from a week at a dude ranch was
excitedly describing his week to his mom. "I even saw the man who makes
horses, " he exclaimed.
"Are you sure? his mom asked.
"Yeah, " he replied, "he was almost finished when I saw him.
He was just nailing on the feet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~ I Quit ~~~
Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said,
"Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you
like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."
Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest
said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may
speak two words."
Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."
After another 5 years, the Priest called Sister Mary Katherine. "You may say
another two words, Sister Mary Katherine."
"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the
food would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister
Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today.
"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.
"It's probably best," said the Priest. "You've done nothing but complain
since you got here."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter
from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you
receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than
me, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org