Clean but Gross: Interesting Departures - The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
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Interesting Departures
Interesting Departures:
The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
Attila the Hun:
One of the most notorious villains in history,
Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by
450 AD - from Mongolia to the edge of the
Russian Empire - by destroying villages
and pillaging the countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his
wedding night
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named
Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on
the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink
lightly during large banquets. On his wedding
night, however, he really cut loose, gorging
himself on food and drink. Sometime during
the night, he suffered a nosebleed but was too
drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood
and was found dead the next morning.
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Tycho Brahe:
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th
century. His ground-breaking research
allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with
the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom
in time
In the 16th century, it was considered an
insult to leave a banquet table before the
meal was over. Brahe, known to drink
excessively, had a bladder condition - but
failed to relieve himself before the banquet
started. He made matters worse by drinking
too much at dinner, and was too polite to
ask to be excused. His bladder finally burst,
killing him slowly and painfully over the next
11 days.
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Horace Wells:
Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s
How he died: Used anesthetics to commit
suicide
While experimenting with various gases during
his anesthesia research, Wells became
addicted to chloroform. In 1848, he was
arrested for spraying two women with sulfuric
acid. In a letter he wrote from jail, he blamed
chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd
gotten high before the attack. Four days later
he was found dead in his cell. He'd anaesthe-
tized himself with chloroform and slashed
open his thigh with a razor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Francis Bacon:
One of the most influential minds of the late
16th century. A statesman, a philosopher,
a writer, and a scientist, he was even
rumored to have written some of
Shakespeare's plays.
How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken
One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a
snowstorm and was struck by the wondrous
notion that maybe snow could be used to
preserve meat in the same way that salt was
used. Determined to find out, he purchased a
chicken from a nearby village, killed it, and
then, standing outside in the snow, attempted
to stuff the chicken full of snow to freeze it.
The chicken never froze, but Bacon did.
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Jerome Irving Rodale:
Founding father of the organic food movement,
creator of "Organic Farming and Gardening"
magazine, and founder of Rodale Press, a
major publishing corporation.
How he died: On the "Dick Cavett Show", while
discussing the benefits of
organic foods.
Rodale, who bragged "I'm going to live to be
100 unless I'm run down by a sugar-crazed
taxi driver," was only 72 when he appeared
on the "Dick Cavett Show" in January 1971.
Partway through the interview, he dropped
dead in his chair. Cause of death: heart
attack. The show was never aired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aeschylus:
A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many
historians consider him the father of Greek
tragedies.
How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise
on his head
According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises
and attempt to crack them open by dropping
them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus'
head for a rock (he was bald) and dropped it
on him instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim Fixx:
Author of the best selling "Complete Book of
Running," which started the jogging craze
of the 1970s.
How he died: A heart attack....while jogging
Fixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when
he walked out of his house and began jogging.
He'd only gone a short distance when he had
a massive coronary. His autopsy revealed
that one of his coronary arteries was 99%
clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a
third was 70% blocked....and that Fixx had
had three other attacks in the weeks prior to
his death.
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And finally there's Lully, one of our favorite 16th-
century composers, who wrote music for the
king of France.
While rehearsing the musicians, he got too
serious beating time with his staff, and drove
it right through his foot. He died of infection.