I believe that every particle of dust that dances in the sunbeam does not move an atom more or less than God wishes – that every particle of spray that dashes against the steamboat has its orbit, as well as the sun in the heavens – that the chaff from the hand of the winnower is steered as the stars in their courses. The creeping of an aphid over the rosebud is as much fixed as the march of the devastating pestilence – the fall of leaves from a poplar is as fully ordained as the tumbling of an avalanche. He who believes in God must believe this truth. There is no standing point between this and Atheism. There is no halfway between an Almighty God, who works all things according to the good pleasure of His will, and no God at all!
C.H. Spurgeon

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Clean Hewmor Special Edition For Thanksgiving

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#1 · November 26, 2003, 8:46 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 
 
*** Special Note:***

We wish each and everyone of you a Happy Thanksgiving. We ask that you remember to pray for all those traveling and remember the troops away from home this Thanksgiving Day.
Have a great holiday and we will see you Monday.
Dave and Barbara

 

*** Twas the Night of Thanksgiving ***

 
TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.

THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED -
THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION
WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT

TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION,
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING,
FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING
AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER
STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS
 

*** Here Is The Thanksgiving Forecast ***  
 

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is one, you should be sure to email your Mom. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

*** Thank God For Thanksgiving *** 

A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Thanks-
giving dinner. The family members bowed their heads in
expectation.

He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming
them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy,
brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and
uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad,
the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.

Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited.

After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother
and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that
I'm lying?"

 

 

*** Pilgram Family *** 
 
    
 
Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had re-ceived
a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family
on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her
small grandchildren, observing:

"The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their
mothers and fathers."

"Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied, "so why is their
dad carrying that rifle?"

 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 

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